I've been deeply soul searching for weeks now. Months actually. I made up my mind about who I wanted to be. How I wanted to be. And I worked hard to be it. I did my very best. And I failed miserably. I find it concerning that when we fail, we always turn to Jesus but when life is going great, He's the last person on our minds. So naturally, proving sinful human nature to be accurate, I found myself on my knees the other day begging for His presence, His direction, His forgiveness and mercy. "Seek and ye shall find..."
In perfect timing He showed me a few things about myself that I'd like to share with you. My identity cannot be created. It cannot be found. It is given. God gives us our identity. Genesis 1:27 says "So God created man in his own image.." So already He is showing us that our body, our physical appearance is an image of God. That's pretty amazing. I don't feel as if I deserve to reflect His image most of the time, but that is how much He loves us. That despite how bad we screw up sometimes, He's chosen to make us an image of himself. His Holy image.. incredible.
Despite hearing all the Bible verses from a young age, I've struggled with self esteem and confidence problems all my life. It's just been one of my hardest struggles, my biggest insecurity. I'm sure many girls can relate - it seems to be a common problem among females, especially in the teen years when your body is changing and so is everyone else's around you. You seem to think you need to conform to what everyone else is trying out. A little word of advice.. you will continue to change until you die. You will not be the same you that you "create" today when next year rolls around. When you get married, your created identity will change again. When you have children, your created identity will change again.. and so on. So to think that we can "create an identity" is really pointless.
And to be insecure or unhappy with the way you look seems really wrong when you consider that you were made in the image of a Holy God. Psalm 139:14 says "I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Enough said. Created in God's image and wonderfully made. How can you argue with that? How can you not be proud of that?
1 Samuel 16:7 says "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'" This verse is referring to when Samuel was checking out (for lack of better words) all of Jesse's sons, looking for who would become the next King. God had told Samuel that one of Jesse's sons had been chosen and Samuel made the mistake of evaluating them by outward appearance. God chose David because of his heart, not because of what he looked like.
So now that we realize that our physical appearance is a reflection of God's image, how do we go about making Him proud of our identity outside of physical looks? Our identity, found through Jesus Christ should reflect His love, mercy, forgiveness and grace. The way we present ourselves and treat others should be shown through compassion and love just as He did while on this Earth. We should be spreading the good news through our life so that others can come to know Him. Instead we often get so caught up in what our "created identity" says about us. What does your outfit say about you? Your music? Your attitude? Your friends? None of this should matter if your true identity is found in Jesus and you strive to constantly reflect His life and love through your life.
We can't choose to be "good" or "holy" or "christian." Well you can, but you will inevitably fail. But we can choose to live for Jesus and those things will be projected from us because of our willingness to let Him use and move us.
My life verse sums it all up.. Acts 17:28 says "In Him we live and move and have our being.."
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