Finding His Peace

I have some big news! But first I want to share my weekend with you. I had an AMAZING weekend. Mainly because I was just incredibly happy. I am finding peace where I am and it is the BEST feeling! So last Thursday I wrote that I was feeling spontaneous and adventurous and I wanted to go to a Braves game, even if I had to go alone. Well I found a friend to go with and had a great time! Then Friday night I spent the evening with this beautiful girl at a football game...

Creekside vs NCC

We lost of course, but who cares? We spent most of our time walking around having deep conversations anyways.. who needs football?

And Saturday was a blast as well. I got to see my brother, who I haven't seen in a week, I spent the majority of the day shooting senior pictures for one of my beautiful friends, had dinner in Atlanta with my girls, and ended a perfect evening with a caramel latte at Safehouse Coffee Roasters. I was just really happy.

In fact, I've become so happy lately because I have found peace. Those of you who have been following me on this journey have picked up bits and pieces about the turning point I experienced back in the months of March, April and May. It was a difficult time for me. I struggled to find myself. The summer was incredible because I got to experience a taste of missions through a Christian summer camp. I gave my life to missions this past summer but felt pretty unstable and confused since my return home. I struggled for a few weeks in various areas of my life and made some bad decisions. I hurt deeply but I kept seeking God. I made God my priority above everything else. I wanted to do His will so badly. I ached to be in His will. I became discouraged because I felt hopeless. I realized that being in His will comes with having a close relationship with Him. How can you know what He wants for your life if you aren't communicating regularly??

I am bursting with excitement about my big news! I have decided to be a part of the World Race! For those of you who don't know, the World Race is a mission trip that goes through 11 countries over the course of 11 months. I'm still researching and planning and wrapping my head around the idea, but I'm incredibly excited! With all this excitement comes a good bit of fear too. This trip isn't going to be a vacation. Its a mission. It will be difficult. I have to spend almost a year away from everyone and everything I know. I will be living out of a backpack. Quite honestly, I am terrified.

But in His perfect timing, God sent me a few reminders this morning..

First I read that when I struggle with doubt, sometimes the first reaction is to "try" to have more faith in Him. You can't really acquire faith by trying harder. Faith comes through a relationship with Jesus. If I am doubting and scared and questioning, I need to get closer to God. I need to deepen my relationship with Him because that is where real peace is found.

The next little reminder was a verse Shelley Giglio posted online: 2 Chronicles 20:17 "You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the Lord will be with you." This was incredible. All morning I wrestled with the doubts and fears in my mind now that I've made the decision to go and I see this verse pop up on my phone. I will not need to fight this battle. Jesus will fight it for me. He will be my strength when I am weak. He will carry me through the hard times. I do not need to be afraid. He will never leave me alone.

There were a few other little things I ran across this morning while I was fighting the doubt, too insignificant to post about, but monumental to me. Sometimes it's those subtle messages God uses to calm you and to show you His presence. I was incredibly encouraged this morning by these things. I am incredibly happy. I've never felt so sure of something and so happy and peaceful in my life. If you only get one take away from what I've said today, please realize that true contentment, happiness and peace come from God and only God. Seeking a relationship with Him has been the most amazing thing I've ever pursued. I learn so much every day but still hunger for it on a daily basis. I just can't get enough. Our God is incredible! The fire is alive in me and I hope to spread it to everyone I come in contact with!