All Day Everyday

Hello again! Another day, another blog!

I'm so incredibly happy that it's become ridiculous. I actually found myself wondering today when this "happiness high" would wear off. And then I recalled something I read.. true happiness and a deep contentment that will never wear off can only come from Jesus. I was just having a discussion with a friend the other day about how, at some point, everyone in your life will fail you. Literally everyone. Why? Because everyone is human. They can't help it. They aren't perfect and neither are you. The only person we can fully rely on is Jesus. And as we search for Him in the pages of His word, He will reveal Himself to us and we will grow closer to Him, resulting in a deep down, genuine happy that can't be taken away because of people or circumstances.

So picture this. Last year at this time, all I wanted was to be married and have a family. I had a serious boyfriend of over 4 years, I was a year away from graduation, he had plenty of money saved up to start a life, we both had good jobs and nice cars... All I wanted was a family. A husband, a house, some children and some pets. I pictured my perfect little family and that was my only focus.

I was miserable. I wasn't getting anything I wanted. And you know what I've realized? If I HAD gotten what I wanted, I would have been 10 times more miserable than I was. And I'm not saying that because of the guy I was with - not in the least. I'm saying that because my priorities, my focus was entirely wrong. It was on myself and what I "thought" would make me happy. It was nowhere near God and His will for my life.

Fast forward to my present life: I'm single, I'm graduating but have no sense of career direction or prospects, I am nowhere near having a baby, I'm considering selling my car for ministry, I have no money and will probably not buy a house for a very, very long time. That is completely opposite from my original dreams, goals, and wants. But I am INSANELY HAPPY! Why? Because I've been seeking Jesus. Because in recent months I've gotten so close to Him and He's changed my life so radically that I don't want any of those things anymore. I only want Jesus.

I've given my life to His work and His ministry. I want to show others how to have this happiness in the midst of failures, trials, disasters and tragedy. I can hardly contain the desire to tell everyone I see about my love for Jesus and His incredible and unfailing love for me!

1 Chronicles 16: 8-11 is part of a song David was singing to thank God. It says "(8) Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! (9) Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! (10) Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! (11) Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."

I want to live out these verses. I want to remember where I was, where God brought me from and thank Him for it. Thank Him for bringing me out of that life and redeeming and restoring me. I want to praise His name for how he's transformed me and made Himself known to me when I sought after Him. I want to sing His praise, not only to glorify Him, but to show others of the love I have for my Savior. I want to continually seek Him so that this happiness won't run out. So that this contentment and confidence will follow me throughout all the journeys I'll take in His name.

All I want is Jesus. All day, everyday.