Falling In Love.. and a Little Bit of My Journey

There are a lot of personal opinions floating around about love. Some people believe in love at first sight. Some people believe you only have one true love. Some people believe you can only fall in love with the one person you are meant to be with in our earthly life. I could go on and on.

Since this is my blog, I express the right to share my own personal opinion about love. I may not have a lot of answers about life, but I do know a little bit about love because I truly believe I've been in love. Before we go any further, I want to state another personal opinion. I fully believe that we as humans have the capacity to fall in love more than once and with more than one person. I don’t believe that falling in love is something God ordains. I believe He has a perfect will and plan for our lives, but I am firm in the belief that He has given us a free will for a reason. He has given us the option, the choice, to choose to love who we want, even if it’s outside of His plan. I believe there are varying degrees of love and the love we have for different people in our lives. The reason I believe it’s possible to love more than one person is because He actually commands us to love people, not just one person.

Mark 12:31

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.

Romans 13:8-10

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

When I read these verses where God commands us to love one another, I am so convinced in my heart that we have complete control over who we love. I think that if you put yourself in a place to fall in love, if you leave your heart open, if you’re looking for love and affection and inviting towards love, you will find it. And that’s not always the best thing. Not everyone around you who loves you back, or even falls in love with you is meant to spend their life with you. I think maturity, wisdom, and seeking God and His perfect plan will help lead you in the right direction. So many times nowadays, I see girls literally begging for love, seeking it, inviting it, and it terrifies me for them because I know what it’s like to fall in love with the wrong person. I know what it can do to your life, because I saw what it did to mine.

I was 17, recently heartbroken, and just trying to enjoy my summer before senior year when I fell in love. It was a boy I had liked since I was 14 and the timing had just never worked out. That summer was an absolute fairytale. I was on cloud nine and you couldn’t tell me anything. We were the captains of our sports teams and he modeled for Abercrombie. Our relationship looked perfect. My senior year passed in a whirlwind of emotions and once I got to college, the fighting started. I determined in my heart that I loved this boy more than my own life, and I wouldn't let hardships ruin what we had. I was there for him in the death of his grandparents, his house that burnt down, and his cousin's move back North. He was there for me when I had to move away to college and had fights with my dad so bad that I almost moved out more than once. I made him the center of my life. We even fought our families for each other if they came between us. There wasn’t a moment we weren’t together. I was head over heels in love and there wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do to make it work. Like any relationship, there were struggles, but from the outside, it looked like perfection to everyone else.

Five years later, I found myself in the emergency room of self-inflicted injuries and our relationship was a crumbling mess. I won’t go into the dirty details, but I can tell you that nothing I found out in those last hours was the result of my ending our relationship. Everything I was ending it over, I had known all along. At some point, I just realized that I was honestly not happy and that I couldn’t live that way another second of my life. No amount of love would force me to live like that.

There are a lot of psychological reasons my relationship ended the way it did. There is a lot of baggage and hurtful memories I will never share. There is a lot of pain. But in the end, I realized one thing: I had allowed myself to fall in love with the wrong person.

I know what it means to be in love. I fully understand going to the ends of the earth and back for someone, even if they won’t reciprocate, because you love them. I know what it means to love someone who cheats on you and lies to you, but you never say a word about it because all you want in life is to make it work out. I understand loving someone with every fiber in your being and praying every night that one day they will love you like you love them. I know.

But I was wrong. The entire time, I was completely wrong. I was in love with the wrong one. I let myself fall for the wrong person. Instead of seeking God first, and falling in love with Jesus and letting Him point me to the right one, I followed my heart. And my wicked, imperfect heart led me to the most attractive, most athletic, funniest guy I knew. My heart fell in love with the wrong boy, and I let him break me into little pieces.

When it all ended, I made it my life’s goal to find Jesus, learn about Him, and fall in love with Him. I wanted nothing else in life but to be completely in love and sold out for Jesus. I found a satisfaction and a genuine, soul-deep happiness that you just can’t find anywhere else. You can’t find it in sex. You can’t find it in love. You can’t find it in status, or money, or friends. It is only found in Jesus.

And let me tell you something else. If you’re all caught up in falling in love and meeting “the one” and getting married and having babies and starting a family, then I suggest you slow it down and take a look at your walk with Christ before you crash and burn like I did. I wanted a perfect life and family so bad that I ran head first into disaster looking for it. I grabbed a lover by the hand and we sprinted to destruction because God was nowhere near our top priorities, much less our number one priority. And don’t get me wrong, we went to Sunday School, church, and Wednesday night services. My daddy was a deacon and our parents sat a row apart every Sunday. Like I said, we LOOKED like perfection walking. But God was not the center and we were a ticking time bomb. We took our own lives in our hands, fell in love with the wrong people, and we wrecked ourselves at only 22 years old. It was absolutely devastating, not only for us, but for all of our friends and family as well. It ripped our families apart and shattered so many people close to us. It was, by far, the hardest, most emotionally challenging, painful experience I have ever endured.

And what was the worst thing about it all? I was still in love the day I walked away. I literally felt as if I ripped my own heart from my chest. So if anyone knows a thing or two about love and breakups, I think I qualify. And what I have to offer is Jesus. He is the ONLY one who fully satisfies. I beg you to seek Him before you seek a relationship. When you find Him you will know love. You will know happiness. You will know peace. He is all of those and more.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Deuteronomy 6:5

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Learn from my mistakes and don’t allow yourself to fall in love with the wrong person. You have a free will. Use it to seek your Creator who gave it to you and He will make your life incredibly satisfying beyond anything a lover can give. I can promise you that because He is something else I know a little bit about.. not a lot, not as much as I wish to know. But every day I wake up with the priority to make Jesus first, to fall in love with Him a little more and it is so satisfying.

When You Just Can't Shake the Emptiness

Feeling alone is really common.

You might feel like you're the only one, but you're actually not.

You might feel like there's no one to catch you if you fall, but there is, you just don't know Him well enough.

My heart aches for you if you feel this darkness. It's impossible to shake on your own. You can fill the void with people, or friends, or shopping, or activities, or things, or food, or boys, but you know as good as I do that once you walk back through the doors of your room at night, the feelings are right back with you.

I completely understand. I know what the distractions feel like. They make you feel alive again. They make you feel happy. But the minute they're gone, so is your soul. 

The only way to shake the void is to fill it with something lasting, something that won't disappear.

That thing is Jesus.

Jesus is love, and happiness, and peace. He is all things good. And these are some of His promises to you:

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Jesus won't leave the hurt in your heart. Whatever got you to this dark place, whatever wrong was done to you, He will heal in His time. The key is patience and trust. God doesn't work on your time, He works on His time, because His ways are perfect. Trust Him. He will heal your hurt.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Things may not be ok right this moment, but they will work out. They will work out in God's timing and in God's way and it will be the best possible solution. And it generally turns out better than anything we could have planned or come up with on our own because God's resources are unlimited. He is the Creator of all. Again, trust His plan and his timing.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with ALL OF YOUR HEART.

Not only does God have a greater plan for your life than you could imagine, but He wants to reveal himself to you if you will seek Him. However, as the last verse state, you must seek Him with your whole heart. Not your Sunday morning heart. Or your Wednesday night heart. Your whole heart. Every week, every day, every moment. Every happy time and every dark time. Seek Him. And once He reveals himself to you, it will be an experience you'll never recover from. It will be a lasting happiness and joy and peace (even in hard times) that you can't get away from. 

If you're looking in all the wrong places for all the things you can't find, look for God. And don't stop looking until you find Him.

I promise you, the journey is worth it. He is worth it.

God first, and why.

If there is anything I want to leave with you in my writings, it's that God deserves and demands us to live a God first life. God should be the absolute center and core of our being.

But before you can desire to live this way, you have to truly understand why. You have to honestly see who and what you are without God before you can fully appreciate and understand and accept and want a life that is sold out and God-centered.

What does the Bible say about people apart from God?

Romans 7:24 - Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God,

But God made a way:

Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If I try to live my life without Him:

John 15:5 - I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Romans 8:8 - Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Know this: without God, you can do NOTHING.

But there's hope...

Philippians 4:13 - I can do ALL THINGS through Him who strengthens me.

So that's pretty basic, right? We are wretched, helpless sinners. God sacrificed His son to save our lives. If we accept that, and accept who we are, and accept His gift of life, we can live forever forgiven in Him. 

But you can do nothing without Him and all things (even what seems impossible) through Him.

Here's the catch: through HIM. Not through you. Not through church. Not through your friends, your family, your pastor, or your dreams. You can do nothing apart from God. Remember that.

Now that we've covered the basics, you should have a better understanding of why we need God. I mean, I shouldn't have to explain to you why you need God, because you know you better than anyone else knows you. Only you know what you do when no one else is around, when you're alone on the internet at night, or when you're out with friends who don't exactly live for God, or when you're on that date. Only you truly know what you're capable of and the deepest, darkest, nastiest parts of your heart and life. Only you.. and God.

And since you know who you are, and you know who you are apart from God, and if you've accepted His gift of life and want to spend forever in Heaven with Him, somewhere deep inside you should be a part of you that wants to please Him and live for Him. Even if it's kind of far down there, kinda quiet, kinda hidden and pushed away right now, you should feel it down there.

My advice to you is to start looking for Jesus. Start praying (talking to Him like He's a friend), start reading your Bible, or even just googling verses for what is applicable to your life right in this moment. No matter how you do it, if you're ACTIVELY looking for Him, He'll show himself to you. And when He does, it will change your life. It will change your outlook and your desires and how you choose to live. It will give you a peace and happiness that won't go away just because your circumstances are less than ideal. It will give you a love for His people and a passion to give them this joy and hope you have.

I promise you, that if you're a Christian, and you're looking for God every day, every moment, you will become so happy and so burdened to reach others than the small stuff won't matter anymore. Even the big stuff will look less worrisome because your priorities and your focus will fall into place. You'll fully understand and believe that nothing else in this life matters except living for God, praising and loving Him, giving Him glory and spreading what He's given you to everyone you possibly can.

Knowing God will change you. Try it.

Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

Because why should I stay pure?

Let's talk about sex.

Sex isn't a dirty word. Sex isn't a dirty thing. In fact, sex within marriage is beautiful. However, Our society has twisted the concept of sex and confused our culture.

Before I get started, as I know what a touchy subject this is, I want to say a few things, disclaimers if you will. First of all, many of you who have been sexually active in the past, or are currently sexually active, have already tuned me out, if you're even still reading. Don't. Give me a chance. Listen to what I have to say. This is for you just as much, if not more, than for any other readers.

Second, just because I blog about something, doesn't mean I'm perfect or have been perfect in that area. In fact, what I choose to write about often comes out of life lessons I've learned personally, or just things I'm strongly convicted about. 

Third, nothing I say here is intended to come across as "holier than thou." Actually, it's the exact opposite. I am a forgiven sinner just like you. If you have any questions or want more scripture references or information on anything I've talked about in this post (or other posts), please email me at heidilynne91@gmail.com. I'd love to help in any way that I can.

The first thing I want to start with is a reference to scripture, because I want you to understand where I'm deriving my opinions from. I know that society has painted sex in a different light than what it was intended for by God and that being sexually active before marriage is very common and even encouraged in our culture. I want to change how you see it.

1 Corinthians 6:13-20
13. Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food - and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
14. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
15. Do you not know that your bodies are member of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
16. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."
17. But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
18. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
19. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20. for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Before I begin to pick apart any of these verses, I want you to ask yourself a question.
"What are my intentions?"
Are you looking for what you're allowed to do? Are you looking for what you can get away with? If the answers are yes to either, then you need to adjust your intentions and your motives before you can fully believe and obey any of God's word.

If you're not committed to seeking to please God in everything you do, then nothing I have to say about sexual purity today is going to help you because that is another issue in itself. 

Verse 13(b) - The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
This is pretty straightforwardly telling us that our body is meant for the Lord's purposes, and that immorality is not one of His purposes for us. Immorality is defined as: sexual misconduct, wickedness, evil, dishonesty, etc.

So what exactly is sexual misconduct? Let's continue...

Verses 15 & 16 - Do you not know that your bodies are member of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, "The two shall become one flesh."
This clearly shows us that our bodies are members (an individual thing belonging to a group) of Christ. Christians are people who belong to Christ. The next few lines discuss that when two people have sex, they become members of each other, or they become one. The ONLY person we should become one with is God first, and our spouse second. If we are becoming one with anyone other than God or our spouse, we are committing sexual misconduct.

This next verse is what really convicted me.
Verse 17 - But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
When I read this, I heard as clear as day, "The Lord cannot join with someone who is joined to someone else outside of marriage." Call me crazy, but I believe God still speaks to our hearts if we are open to listen.
This is where your motivation comes in. Are you motivated to see what you can get away with, or are you motivated to be one with the Lord?

Think about that.

Versse 18-20 - Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
These verses are also pretty cut and dry.
Run far away from sexual immorality (sex outside of marriage). Period.
Why would you want to commit a sin against yourself? Why would you intentionally hurt your own body? You were purchased by Jesus' life on the cross, so therefore, it isn't even yours to do as you want. It is His. We are to live in a way that pleases God and God alone.

Which brings me back to the original question: What are your intentions?

Are you wholeheartedly seeking to please God in everything you do?
Are you sold out, willing to give every inch of your heart and soul to Him, including your sexual purity? Are you REALLY a follower? Or are you just a fan?

If a man loves you, and loves God more than you (which is how it should be), he will wait. If he won't wait, then it's not you he wants, but it's sex. Anyone can say "I love you," but the ultimate test is proving it.

The first step to staying pure in your current, or any upcoming relationships is talking about it. Bring out your Bible, have your significant other read these verses. If they react in anger, you'll know that your relationship isn't about love, it's about sex. If they believe God and the word of God as you do, they'll agree. Putting your convictions out in the open and discussing what you read in your devotion time with God is a good way to keep healthy communication in your God first relationship.

God is love. God is forgiveness. Anything you've done, or will do, He can and will forgive. But let me warn you not to be a  r e p e a t   o f f e n d e r .  Don't use the excuse that God will forgive you to purposefully commit the same sins over and over and over again. 

Because if you know what is right in your heart, and you continue to do wrong, are you truly even sorry?


Seek God. Stay pure.

Rules or Relationship?

Religion is something we often confuse for a relationship.

Just because you go to church, wear certain clothes, or even read your Bible, doesn't mean you have a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

A relationship takes work. It's not as simple as following certain rules. To make a real relationship work healthily and happily you have to learn about the other person, their desires, their wants, their needs. You have to have a desire inside to want to please them. 

The confusion, unfortunately, often starts in our local churches. If you go to a church you will notice how the members dress, how they talk, act, etc. Not all, but many, of these churches hold their members to a certain standard of living and dressing and acting, which in itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Unfortunately, when the rules begin to take the place of your relationship with God, you've gone to far.

If you have noticed yourself falling out of your devotion time but following the rules of your church, I'd advise you to regroup and reevaluate. Why is it that you are following those rules? Why do you wear those clothes? Why do you go to every church service? Why are you singing in the choir? Why are you tithing?

Is it to please people in your church? Is it even to please yourself?

Or are you genuinely doing it to please God Himself?

T h i n k   a b o u t   t h a t .

And once you've come to a conclusion, get back in the Word of God. Dive deeper into your relationship with Him. Challenge yourself to go an entire week of waking up 15 minutes early to spend reading about Him in His Word, getting to know your Savior, and praying and talking to Him. Challenge yourself to listen to worship music on the way to church, school, work, or errands in the morning. Just one car ride a day. Try it, I dare you.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

The more you learn about your Savior, I promise you, the more you will fall in love with Him. Life is not about following a set of rules or looking or acting a certain way. Jesus gave Himself as a sacrifice to save us from those rules and to give us a relationship and eternal life in Heaven with Him. Don't miss out on that beautiful fact because you are too busy measuring your skirt for Sunday School.

In the Bible, Jesus was upset with the Pharisees because He commanded us to keep the Sabbath holy, and they added all of these stipulations to that commandment. They created a rule saying that if you threw something into the air with one hand, you had to catch it with the other or you were not keeping the Sabbath holy. Sounds ridiculous right? 

Well how do you think it looks to God when He commands us to be modest and we are over here kneeling on the ground to measure how many inches above our knee that our skirt falls or we squint our eyes to see if any single hair is touching a boy's ear? It's a modern day version of the rules the Pharisees made up. We are adding to what God commanded (which was to be modest) and adding to His Word is a sin.

Proverbs 30:5-6 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.

Deuteronomy 4:2 You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you.

Now don't get me wrong, rules are necessary at a school or in certain situations, however, if we become more obsessed with following the rules than having a relationship, we are in for a very long and difficult road. One thing that has burdened my heart since I was in high school was that, in our Christian Schools, we hold our high school kids to a certain standard, we dress them up, cut their hair and judge their behavior, but we fail to teach them about who Christ really is and WHY they should want to behave this way.

We fix up the outside but never work on the inside.

I watched too many of my friends in high school get fed up with the "rules of Christianity" and walk away from God altogether to ever allow that to happen in my own life or family. I want to live the kind of life that people will know from the moment they meet me that I love Jesus with all of my heart and soul. I want them to see Him living inside me and know that I walk with Him daily. If I break one of their added on rules, then fine. If I slip up and sin, it is life. But I want people to see that no matter whether or not I may screw up (because I will, it's inevitable because I'm a sinner), that I love Jesus with my whole heart and soul, and their rules and religion won't ever change me. Only He can.

I challenge you to refocus your efforts. Stop worrying about the rules and the religion of it. Open your Bible. Pray. Get closer to Him and learn about Him. See the love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and compassion He had and learn to live that way.

I promise you, your Christian walk will get so much easier when you put down the rules and pick up the relationship.

So you're single?

In today's culture, being single is a curse. 

By the world's standards, you're odd if you walk through life alone.

Fortunately, as a Christian, being single is a good thing. Now don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for marriage and it is beautiful in God's sight. However, marriage doesn't happen overnight, and chances are, you will have a few years going it alone, or maybe you know someone who is single. So, here's a little encouragement and advice...

Being single, when you have the right attitude about it, can be a blessing. I'd be willing to bet that anyone who just loathes the idea of being single isn't comfortable enough with their own self. They must not love themselves enough or feel confident enough in their own skin to go through life alone for a little while. Don't be that person. Don't associate your value with someone else. Learn to love yourself and to enjoy your own company. I guarantee you life will be so much more enjoyable. Fall in love with the life God gave you and live it to it's absolute fullest, with or without someone by your side.

While being single may not be enjoyable long term, it has it's benefits.

Benefit #1: Freedom

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interest are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the thing of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

So let me clarify. This doesn't in any way state that being married is bad or wrong. It does, however, point out that singles have more time to devote to pleasing the Lord in worship (which is our purpose on earth) and that they aren't distracted by a spouse and children or money (worldly things). So if you find yourself single in this season of your life, thank Him. Learn about Him. Get closer to Him. Get so deep in the Word and so close to your God that worship becomes your way of life. Focus on the positive aspects of your singleness (like more time for worship and eternal work) and stop living in the negativity the world places on being single. Be different. Just because everyone says you should be miserable and frustrated that you're single doesn't mean you have to be. Have a backbone and be an individual, not a group.

You don't need someone else in life to validate your existence as a human being. 

Be yourself, enjoy your freedom, and thank God for where you are right now.

Benefit #2: You get the chance to do this the right way

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

This verse is saying, quite plainly, "don't date the unsaved." It's just that simple. I know you might think you can change them or that you can convince them. But God doesn't ask you to do that. Sure, be a witness, bring them to church, talk to them about God and pray for their salvation. But don't get emotionally invested, d o n ' t   d a t e   t h e m .  

So many Christian singles, I feel, have started relationships with people who may claim to be a Christian or go to church or believe in a "higher power" but they don't live out their faith. And I can promise you, the chances of this changing for the better are slim. I can't stress to you enough that this will cause you problems. If you ever plan to be a devoted and dedicated Christian, being unequally yoked will hold you back, stress you out and ruin your own personal walk with God. It will cause you to become miserably stagnant because you can't run the race God has for you with a spouse who is sitting down. Either you'll move away from God going after your spouse, or you'll move away from your spouse going after God. Either way, it will cause you unnecessary pain in life.

Oh, you're not going to marry them, you're just dating them? Well that's a whole new post in itself, but let me just tell you that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. So, you'll invest your time, money, and feelings into someone, expecting not to grow closer to them and fall more in love with them, just to walk away? Sounds like a failing plan that will soon end miserably if you ask me.

But really pray about this verse in your walk as a single Christian. Pray that God would prepare the one for you and lead them to you. I know waiting can be difficult and downright painful sometimes but don't settle. Please, please, please don't settle. You are worth more than settling for someone who doesn't share your values and the love for your Savior. If they don't walk with Christ and learn to love as He loved us, they will never be capable of loving you like Christ loves His church.

Please don't settle. Enjoy your singleness. Enjoy the freedom. Develop healthy, Christian relationships and friendships that bring you closer to God in your walk. Give yourself the chance to do this the right way so that you have the happiest and most fulfilled life you can possibly have, the way God intended for it to be. Focus more on what you can do for God, rather than what you can do for a significant other. 

When two come together in a mutual love for Christ and they learn and grow in the love of Christ, it brings them closer together. The closer they get to God (the center), the closer they become with one another.

It may be a long wait. Every story is different. But don't settle. Find other Christian singles to learn about life and God together to ease the confusion, frustration and anxiousness. Get involved with a local Christian singles group in your church or a church near you. You don't have to go through this time alone because God is with you and will never leave you nor forsake you.

Don't jump the gun.

Trust Him and His perfect plan for your life.

Trusting as Easily as Breathing

Trusting God wholly and completely for the outcome of a situation is really hard to do when your heart is invested in something.

I know because that is what I struggled with last year as I awaited my answer regarding the world race. In fact, it's what I'm struggling with today, as I'm writing this, again, awaiting the results of my acceptance to the world race.

I'm a missionary. I don't live in a foreign country, I haven't gained support of a church to go overseas, but I've given my heart to missions. I've given my heart to God and He has burdened me for missions. 

In my search for His will in my life, I've discovered the world race. If you have been following me on this blog for the last year, you'll remember that I wasn't accepted last year but that I applied again this year, hoping that in my faithfulness, God would bless.

What I've come to realize is that He has no obligation to bless my faithfulness to my own heart's desires. He will bless my faithfulness to His desires, and His alone. 

Trust isn't something you can force yourself to do, especially if you've been hurt in the past or if things haven't worked out for you. Unfortunately, you can't make yourself trust, but there are steps you can take to learn to let go of a situation and to gain peace about it, all while learning how to trust.

I truly feel that the first step in trusting God is to let go. 

Let go of your wants or fears. Let go of your control. Let go of yourself and hold on to God. Get close to Him, pray to Him, ask for His help.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Just take a deep breath and let it all go.

 After you let go of the control, let go of the idea that your way is the best way.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God's way is the best way. The only way for you to realize that is to let God have His way and to stop thinking that you know it all. Life is a huge puzzle and he sees the end result. Remember that there are pieces you can't see from where you are right now. Trust that He sees and hears and knows all and has the best plan to make you prosper in His name.

If you struggle with letting go, ask Him for help. Pray to Him. He hears you.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it shall be yours.

Remember not to pray selfishly. Pray for the will of God to be done. Pray for His perfect timing, His perfect solution, His perfect plan. He will do it.

Get rid of the idea in the back of your mind that if you follow these steps and pray for His will that He will still give you what you want. He sees our hearts and He knows if you truly desire His will or your own.

You may still not get the answer you had hoped for. Thank Him for that. 

Why?

Because if He says no, then He has a greater plan in store that you can't imagine. 

Today, this is my hearts prayer: that I will learn to trust Him as easily as I breathe and that I will thank Him for whatever answer He gives. I pray that if He closes the door on something, I will desire to continue to praise Him in the hallway until He opens the next door.

Pray that way with me. Learn to let go and trust Him.

Not-Your-Average Blog About Church

The subject of church is touchy.

To many people, church is a way of life, a non-negotiable part of how they were raised and who they are. To others, church is a preference. 

For the sake of being open-minded, clear your head of all of the boundaries you put on church, just for a moment. Erase the rules and regulations you may have grown up under and focus, just for a few minutes, on what God says about church.

First of all, the term "church" isn't referring to a building or a specific place at all. So any concept that Christ REQUIRES physical church attendance 3 times a week is ridiculous. In His writings about the "church" He is actually referring to Christians or believers as a whole. 

Romans 12:5 - So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.

Ephesians 2:21 - In whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple IN THE LORD.

As a believer and follower of Christ, you are a part of a large group, or body of members. Together, we make up His "Church."

1 Corinthians 3:9 - For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building.

As the Church of Christ, we should join together with other believers to fellowship with one another, encourage one another, love one another, worship God together, and share in our efforts to tell the world about Jesus. Unfortunately, so many "churches" these days have stopped at fellowship. Judgement has clouded their eyes and they can  no longer find it within themselves to encourage and love their fellow members. 

Ephesians 4:15-16 - Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow that it builds itself up in love.

Just as a Pastor leads his church members, or a shepherd leads his sheep, Christ leads the church (entire body of believers). The physical church, which we are accustomed to attending, as actually a physical imitation of Christ's relationship with us as Christians.

Aside from failing to love and encourage one another, Christians of the local church, I feel, have honestly forgotten (or maybe they were never taught) what our existence on earth is for. God made us for His utmost glory. We were created in His perfect image to worship Him with all of our days. Unfortunately, many people lose sight of our purpose and get so bogged down with this life we have created that will ultimately fade to absolutely nothing. 

On top of losing sight of our purpose, when mankind sinned, Jesus had to pay our price to make a way for us to get to Heaven with our sinless Creator. As a result, we are called to seek and to save people who are still lost in their sins. One of the purposes of the local church is to join together in our commandment to go unto the earth and spread the gospel. 

Mark 16:15 - And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."

It breaks my heart to see local churches ministering to only the few members within their walls. This is such a misrepresentation of what God called us to do. In all honesty,  i t   i s   a   w a s t e   o f   t i m e . 

God didn't write the Bible and ask us to choose a handful of principles to live by. He wrote the complete and infallible Word of God to teach us how to live like Jesus, to give us examples of how to love, to command us to reach the world with the gospel, and to invite us to have a personal love relationship with him in which we can't stand to NOT worship.

So now that you know what the church is and should be doing, lets talk about a few common misconceptions about church.

~ The church was intended for so much more than 3 required services a week and a dress code. 

Nowhere in the Bible does it tell you to attend church a certain number of times a week. If your relationship with God is strong, you will WANT to go to church to fellowship with others of a like mind, and to work in reaching the world for Jesus. 

Dress codes are man made to keep a group of people in accountability to man, they do nothing for reaching the world for Christ. You can argue all day with me, but modesty is an opinion and personal conviction for Christ. Dressing someone up on the outside changes nothing about their heart and it is so sad to see so many churches waste their time and energy on such irrelevant things.

~ Church can't and shouldn't take the place of your PERSONAL relationship with God.

Being in church doesn't make you "spiritual" and being out of church doesn't make you unsaved. In fact, as sad as this sounds, some of the farthest people from God are found within the walls of the local church. How is this possible? Because so many people confuse going to church with being close to God. Just because you attend church every time the doors are open, doesn't mean you are close to God. Many people sit through service after service and never hear a word because they are so mentally distracted or their hearts are just closed off to the Word of God. To have a personal relationship with God, you have to treat it as you would a relationship with someone important to you. You can't ignore someone for 10 months out of the year and expect to know all about them and be close with them, can you? No. So why do we try that with God? We have to talk to Him every day in prayer. We have to read his Word, the Bible, the beautiful love letter He wrote us to learn more about Him and how He wants us to act. It takes effort. And just as any other relationship, there will be days you don't feel like talking to Him. You'll get busy. Focus on making Him a priority every single day. It's a choice. A daily choice.

~ Going to church WON'T make you a better Christian.

I hear this so often. "Well, I decided I needed to start being a better Christian and get back in church." No, let me stop you right there. First of all, there aren't good and bad Christians. There are Christians walking closely with God and doing His work, and Christians who aren't. Sadly, many of the Christians who aren't, are the ones sitting in the pews EVERY Sunday getting that worldly praise for doing the right thing, when in reality, all they are doing is attending another meeting. Christians walking with God and doing His will are often found in the middle of ministry on the mission field, maybe locally or internationally. So, reevaluate next time you think going to church will make you better or help you "better" yourself. No. Getting closer to God will make you better. Learning about your Savior, your Creator and his desires for you life will make you better, not sitting on a church pew 3 times a week. It's not about the motions, its about the heart. Don't look outward, look inward.

~ Forcing your own personal convictions on people won't reach others for Christ, in fact, it deters them.

This one is probably one of my biggest pet peeves, honestly. I understand that, as a Christian, we are to uphold a standard of living and way of life that pleases God. But look back at our mission commanded to us by God: to reach others. So if forcing your opinion of dress on a nonbeliever makes them walk away from the doors of your church, then you're doing it wrong. In fact, Christians often take it a step further and take it upon themselves to judge other Christians based on what they wear, who they hang out with, where they spend time, and what music they listen to. This also pushes people away from church and the judgmental Christians within it. 

Matthew 7:1 - Judge not, that you be not judged.

John 8:7 - And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."

We weren't placed on this earth to judge anyone or to tell anyone how to live. Sure, we may not agree with them or their actions, but focusing on others takes our focus off of Christ.

Realizing what the purpose of church is and isn't can really help you reevaluate how you look at church and how you view others. I'm hoping it helped someone out there to value the importance of their relationship with God, rather than valuing their attendance record. 

I suppose the end all, take away, I'd have for you in this blog, would be to focus on your relationship with God and your position as a member in His local church. Remember your purpose and your mission: to worship God and reach others. Try not to lose sight of that in your busy week and seek opportunities to tell people about Christ or invite them to church with you.

It could save a life. Literally.

Forgiveness = Freedom

In my last post we talked about letting go of negativity, sins, and things holding us down and being free in Christ. Sometimes, in order to let go, we must learn to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't come easy, and more often than not, takes time.

But just why exactly should you forgive someone who has hurt you or sinned against you? Better yet, what if they don't even want your forgiveness?

It's pretty simple. The answer is freedom.

Forgiveness = Freedom

Sometimes we find ourselves so emotionally connected to people we have no desire to be emotionally connected with because we're harboring pain they have inflicted on us and we carry it around like an accessory. The more we hurt, the more we hate what they have done, the more entangled with them our hearts become. You can't stop thinking about it and it begins to consume you. If someone is hateful towards you, whether you want to admit it or not, somewhere deep down, it hurts. The most harmful thing you can do with that pain is to carry it around with you. Not only does it lead to problems in your own life, but you'll inevitably spread it to others. 

Hurt people hurt people.

Let that sink in.

So what can you do to be free of this pain? Forgive. 

Forgiveness is incredibly powerful. Think about it: how much easier is it to dislike someone who has hurt you, than to forgive them and love them? So don't look at forgiveness as spineless passivity. Look at forgiveness as a powerful, divine, strength. Why divine? Because our flesh can't truly forgive on it's own. It requires the love of Christ within us to truly forgive and let go. 

Our greatest example of forgiveness, after all, is Jesus himself. When he created perfect, sinless, humans for the purpose of loving and worshiping Him, we spit in His face by sinning against Him. If Jesus had responded like our flesh does, it would have been much easier for Him to hate our sin and laugh as we got everything we deserved. But, in His perfect holiness, He forgave our unjustified sins and gave Himself as our sacrifice to live eternally with Him. That's some incredible power and love right there!

So find the strength inside to say no to the hate. Ask God to help you forgive, even when it feels better to laugh at their karma. Once you take the first steps, He will soften your heart, and in time, you'll realize that you truly have let it go. It isn't an overnight solution. It begins with a willing heart and ends in complete freedom.

L e t  g o ,  f o r g i v e ,  e x p e r i e n c e  f r e e d o m .

It is the most satisfying feeling. I promise that the joy and freedom you will feel after you've truly forgiven will be 100 times better than the joy you may have in welcoming their failure.

Forgiveness isn't about how you feel. It is about willing your flesh to obey Christ's commands to forgive. T a k e   b a b y   s t e p s .  It starts with willing yourself to forgive.

Will it and you will feel it.

Let go || Be free

The world can be a pretty negative place.

There are a lot of things in life that will get you down. Break ups, mean friends, bad grades, financial stress, relationship issues, car problems, job loss, etc. But no matter the circumstance, whether you're being mistreated, made fun of, abused, lied about or lied to, taken advantage of or rejected, God loves you.

At your highest and in your lowest times, God has and always will love you.

S o m e t i m e s   w e   l e t   o u r   t r o u  b l e s   o v e r t a k e   u s .

Sometimes we let the sins of others distract us. 

But what's really important is that, in every step you take, God is right there with you and He loves you.

Often, the problem is our focus, our priorities. What is your focus? Are you too concerned with the people around you to focus on the fact that a sinless, Holy God loves you and wants a personal relationship with you?

Are you too caught up with society and the let down of not being perfect that you don't see that God made you PERFECT in every way and that you are a creation of a PERFECT God?

If you could just sit down today for a few moments and clear your head of the distractions of Satan, you will realize that in HIM, you are redeemed, set free, made new, a perfect creation.

Don't let the standards of others get you down and cause you to think bad of yourself. Don't let the pressure of the world confuse you into thinking you're not good enough.

D o n ' t  l e t  s o c i e t y  t e l l  y o u  h o w  t o  d r e s s  o r  h o w  t o  a c t  o r  w h o  t o  b e .

Don't let the sins and mistreatment of others manipulate you into thinking that you deserve less.

Let go of all of that negativity. Let go of your past. Rejoice in Christ's love and freedom.

Psalm 35:9 says "My soul shall be joyful in the Lord; It shall rejoice in His salvation."

Let go. Be free.

Accepting His Gifts

The last 3 days have been incredibly relaxing for my family. After a long summer on mission, we have finally taken a week long break to spend unwinding at the beach. In my relaxation, I've been overwhelmed by God's love and peace. What always seems to blow my mind is the way He presents the truth to me. It is always in such creative and subtle ways. Like I've said before, it's the little things that get me.

 

Anyways, I ran across this passage while I was reading one day by the pool:

 

 

God's love is a gift. It cannot be earned. Not because we are not worthy enough (which we aren't) but because gifts cannot be earned. They are given freely.

 

As the passage reads: "You cannot earn it, or it ceases to be a gift." I really loved the way that was presented in these few short sentences. So many times I feel myself feeling unworthy or disappointed in my sinful, selfish, fleshly self. However, this is merely a distraction of Satan. How better to hinder the work of Christ than by attacking His servants from the inside out?

 

So don't let the distraction and the lies of Satan hold you back. Don't feel like you're unworthy to do something great for God. His love is a gift. His forgiveness is a gift. His peace and mercy and grace are gifts. No matter how good we are, or how bad we may be, we cannot earn them and we cannot lose them. They are freely given, no matter how great our sins.

 

Don't let Satan win. Accept the gift and be something/do something incredible for Jesus. You are worthy because you are HIS. You are worthy because you have been made perfect in Him.



A beautiful, unworthy, imperfect mess ♡

Today I'm breaking chains and making changes.

Today I'm choosing Jesus over all else.

Today I'm dying to self and living in Christ.

Today is a new day.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I've screwed up. And I know that any number of my readers could be disgusted at the fact that I feel worthy enough to continue blogging to "help" others when I seemingly can't seem to help myself. But one thing I know is that, in Christ, I am made perfect. I am made beautiful.

Is my life worthy of inspiration? Maybe not. But then again, my life is not even worthy of existing in sin. That's the beauty of it all. Christ makes everything beautiful and perfect by His blood. I don't have to try to be inspirational or perfect or worthy. I'm not called to that. I'm called to strive after God wholeheartedly in everything I do. When I strive for a God centered life, all else lines up.

Thankful on this beautiful day for a merciful and loving God.

Just think to yourself where you might be had you never been shown an instant of mercy in your life? Life would be pretty rough...

He is Faithful

I'm short on time and words today, but as a reminder, I wanted to share some verses I've been keeping close to my heart lately.

Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Thank you God for your mercy and grace. Thank you for not giving me what I deserve. Thank you for being slow to anger. Thank you for being patient with my sinful self. Thank you for standing by me no matter what, in hard times and good times. Thank you for loving me in my broken sinfulness. Thank you for saving me and pulling me from the misery of a life I'd have without you. Thank you for being so faithful to me. Thank you.

Malachi 3:6a For I the Lord do not change;

I cannot express how thankful I am that when all hope seems lost and everything and everyone has failed me, my God does not change. He's still the merciful, gracious, loving, faithful God he was yesterday and the time before. And He will continue to be.

I pray that I keep my eyes on You, and give You the praise You deserve.

Amen.

When Friends Become Enemies

Have you ever had a close friend you thought you could trust, and somewhere along life's messy road, they turned into an enemy?

It's sad but this happens all the time. Often the people we hold closest in our lives become the most distant over time and often turn into enemies. And even though I don't have an answer as to how or why this happens, I have been learning a lot lately about my reaction in these types of situations and how it affects my life and my walk with Christ. What I've learned though, is that a friendship is a mutual agreement to love each other. When you become enemies, again, it is a mutual agreement to dislike each other. The root of being enemies often develops from anger inside that has been ignored and has turned into jealousy, contempt or even hatred. But one thing I know: You can't be enemies with someone you love. We'll pick back up on this idea in a moment.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 says "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools."

People in your life will hurt you. People will use you, reject you, hate you, and forsake you. However, our attitude towards them has nothing to do with how they treat us. Our attitude and actions are within our control. Someone else's attitude and actions are not.  How we behave should never be dependent on how someone else behaves toward us. The Bible clearly shows us that God does not intend for us to walk around with anger in our hearts. He says that "anger lodges in the heart of fools." If that is the case, no matter what someone may do to me or say against me, I don't want to be considered a fool in God's eyes. 

Luke 6:27-36 says "But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from who you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, 

and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

Jesus calls us to a higher standard of living. If you read this passage, it almost seems insane to react in the way He is telling us to when people sin against us. However, Jesus isn't asking us to be Christians in a world of sinners and to behave as we are expected. He's telling us to behave as we're NOT expected. He's calling us to a higher standard, set apart from the world. How can unsaved people see a difference in us if we always behave as we're expected?

Our lives are purposed to be different. We're called to portray Jesus as best as humanly possible. What an incredible task! I want to begin today to read and study more about how Christ commands us to act. Even though it may seem different or odd, I want to do my best to live like Jesus so that I can spread his love with as many lost souls as my short lifetime will allow.

Personally, this passage speaks to my life in insurmountable ways right now. I was so convicted reading these words that I had to post a blog about it. I'm not sure how many people can relate, but if anything, it really showed me some things about how I react when others sin against me and some core areas in my life I need to work on and change. I hope it had the same effect for some of you.

Just who is it that I am supposed to be living for anyways?

1 Peter 2:12 ~

People in ministry get scrutinized, most often by the group they are trying to reach. In becoming more involved in camp ministry, this fact is becoming more real in my life.

On one hand, we aren't placed on earth to live up to people's expectations or to be accepted by anyone. On the other hand, we are placed here as servants of Jesus Christ, to reach the lost with the good news of Jesus' death and resurrection. So just how am I to respond when I begin to receive criticism in my life on who I am or how I act?

1 Peter 2:12 says it perfectly. Keep your conduct honorable. As Christians, we aren't perfect. Everyone slips up, everyone sins, even the most "seasoned" Christians. However, if we are daily in the Bible, seeking God's truth, talking to Him everyday and striving to be a better person in Christ and a good example to the lost, it shouldn't be too hard to understand when your actions are honorable or not.

Sometimes it's not about whether the action is right or wrong. Sometimes it is about the context of your actions or the audience of your actions. Sometimes what is perfectly honorable in the comfort of your home, may not be honorable to perform in public. 1 Peter 2:12 shows us that we will receive criticism in doing God's work and that if we keep our actions among the lost honorable, they will see our good deeds, rather than focus on our shortcomings. 

I often struggle with this idea. My flesh wants to act however I please because inside, I know that I am not here to please people, I'm here to please God. However, sometimes pleasing God requires that we have discretion and wisdom regarding our behavior. 

In all honesty, I can say that dishonorable behavior among the lost people you are trying to reach will turn their eyes from the truth you have to share with them. They will lose sight of the gospel and begin to focus on your actions, rather than what is truly important. At this point you become a stumbling block to them, rather than a help, and your words fall on deaf ears.

For the sake of spreading God's Word, I pray I can keep in mind that my actions, especially in the company of lost people, so importantly need to stay pure and honorable . As a missionary, my reputation and the validity of what I have to say, is determined by what people see flowing from my life.