So you're single?

In today's culture, being single is a curse. 

By the world's standards, you're odd if you walk through life alone.

Fortunately, as a Christian, being single is a good thing. Now don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for marriage and it is beautiful in God's sight. However, marriage doesn't happen overnight, and chances are, you will have a few years going it alone, or maybe you know someone who is single. So, here's a little encouragement and advice...

Being single, when you have the right attitude about it, can be a blessing. I'd be willing to bet that anyone who just loathes the idea of being single isn't comfortable enough with their own self. They must not love themselves enough or feel confident enough in their own skin to go through life alone for a little while. Don't be that person. Don't associate your value with someone else. Learn to love yourself and to enjoy your own company. I guarantee you life will be so much more enjoyable. Fall in love with the life God gave you and live it to it's absolute fullest, with or without someone by your side.

While being single may not be enjoyable long term, it has it's benefits.

Benefit #1: Freedom

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interest are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the thing of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

So let me clarify. This doesn't in any way state that being married is bad or wrong. It does, however, point out that singles have more time to devote to pleasing the Lord in worship (which is our purpose on earth) and that they aren't distracted by a spouse and children or money (worldly things). So if you find yourself single in this season of your life, thank Him. Learn about Him. Get closer to Him. Get so deep in the Word and so close to your God that worship becomes your way of life. Focus on the positive aspects of your singleness (like more time for worship and eternal work) and stop living in the negativity the world places on being single. Be different. Just because everyone says you should be miserable and frustrated that you're single doesn't mean you have to be. Have a backbone and be an individual, not a group.

You don't need someone else in life to validate your existence as a human being. 

Be yourself, enjoy your freedom, and thank God for where you are right now.

Benefit #2: You get the chance to do this the right way

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

This verse is saying, quite plainly, "don't date the unsaved." It's just that simple. I know you might think you can change them or that you can convince them. But God doesn't ask you to do that. Sure, be a witness, bring them to church, talk to them about God and pray for their salvation. But don't get emotionally invested, d o n ' t   d a t e   t h e m .  

So many Christian singles, I feel, have started relationships with people who may claim to be a Christian or go to church or believe in a "higher power" but they don't live out their faith. And I can promise you, the chances of this changing for the better are slim. I can't stress to you enough that this will cause you problems. If you ever plan to be a devoted and dedicated Christian, being unequally yoked will hold you back, stress you out and ruin your own personal walk with God. It will cause you to become miserably stagnant because you can't run the race God has for you with a spouse who is sitting down. Either you'll move away from God going after your spouse, or you'll move away from your spouse going after God. Either way, it will cause you unnecessary pain in life.

Oh, you're not going to marry them, you're just dating them? Well that's a whole new post in itself, but let me just tell you that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. So, you'll invest your time, money, and feelings into someone, expecting not to grow closer to them and fall more in love with them, just to walk away? Sounds like a failing plan that will soon end miserably if you ask me.

But really pray about this verse in your walk as a single Christian. Pray that God would prepare the one for you and lead them to you. I know waiting can be difficult and downright painful sometimes but don't settle. Please, please, please don't settle. You are worth more than settling for someone who doesn't share your values and the love for your Savior. If they don't walk with Christ and learn to love as He loved us, they will never be capable of loving you like Christ loves His church.

Please don't settle. Enjoy your singleness. Enjoy the freedom. Develop healthy, Christian relationships and friendships that bring you closer to God in your walk. Give yourself the chance to do this the right way so that you have the happiest and most fulfilled life you can possibly have, the way God intended for it to be. Focus more on what you can do for God, rather than what you can do for a significant other. 

When two come together in a mutual love for Christ and they learn and grow in the love of Christ, it brings them closer together. The closer they get to God (the center), the closer they become with one another.

It may be a long wait. Every story is different. But don't settle. Find other Christian singles to learn about life and God together to ease the confusion, frustration and anxiousness. Get involved with a local Christian singles group in your church or a church near you. You don't have to go through this time alone because God is with you and will never leave you nor forsake you.

Don't jump the gun.

Trust Him and His perfect plan for your life.