Rules or Relationship?

Religion is something we often confuse for a relationship.

Just because you go to church, wear certain clothes, or even read your Bible, doesn't mean you have a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

A relationship takes work. It's not as simple as following certain rules. To make a real relationship work healthily and happily you have to learn about the other person, their desires, their wants, their needs. You have to have a desire inside to want to please them. 

The confusion, unfortunately, often starts in our local churches. If you go to a church you will notice how the members dress, how they talk, act, etc. Not all, but many, of these churches hold their members to a certain standard of living and dressing and acting, which in itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Unfortunately, when the rules begin to take the place of your relationship with God, you've gone to far.

If you have noticed yourself falling out of your devotion time but following the rules of your church, I'd advise you to regroup and reevaluate. Why is it that you are following those rules? Why do you wear those clothes? Why do you go to every church service? Why are you singing in the choir? Why are you tithing?

Is it to please people in your church? Is it even to please yourself?

Or are you genuinely doing it to please God Himself?

T h i n k   a b o u t   t h a t .

And once you've come to a conclusion, get back in the Word of God. Dive deeper into your relationship with Him. Challenge yourself to go an entire week of waking up 15 minutes early to spend reading about Him in His Word, getting to know your Savior, and praying and talking to Him. Challenge yourself to listen to worship music on the way to church, school, work, or errands in the morning. Just one car ride a day. Try it, I dare you.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

The more you learn about your Savior, I promise you, the more you will fall in love with Him. Life is not about following a set of rules or looking or acting a certain way. Jesus gave Himself as a sacrifice to save us from those rules and to give us a relationship and eternal life in Heaven with Him. Don't miss out on that beautiful fact because you are too busy measuring your skirt for Sunday School.

In the Bible, Jesus was upset with the Pharisees because He commanded us to keep the Sabbath holy, and they added all of these stipulations to that commandment. They created a rule saying that if you threw something into the air with one hand, you had to catch it with the other or you were not keeping the Sabbath holy. Sounds ridiculous right? 

Well how do you think it looks to God when He commands us to be modest and we are over here kneeling on the ground to measure how many inches above our knee that our skirt falls or we squint our eyes to see if any single hair is touching a boy's ear? It's a modern day version of the rules the Pharisees made up. We are adding to what God commanded (which was to be modest) and adding to His Word is a sin.

Proverbs 30:5-6 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.

Deuteronomy 4:2 You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you.

Now don't get me wrong, rules are necessary at a school or in certain situations, however, if we become more obsessed with following the rules than having a relationship, we are in for a very long and difficult road. One thing that has burdened my heart since I was in high school was that, in our Christian Schools, we hold our high school kids to a certain standard, we dress them up, cut their hair and judge their behavior, but we fail to teach them about who Christ really is and WHY they should want to behave this way.

We fix up the outside but never work on the inside.

I watched too many of my friends in high school get fed up with the "rules of Christianity" and walk away from God altogether to ever allow that to happen in my own life or family. I want to live the kind of life that people will know from the moment they meet me that I love Jesus with all of my heart and soul. I want them to see Him living inside me and know that I walk with Him daily. If I break one of their added on rules, then fine. If I slip up and sin, it is life. But I want people to see that no matter whether or not I may screw up (because I will, it's inevitable because I'm a sinner), that I love Jesus with my whole heart and soul, and their rules and religion won't ever change me. Only He can.

I challenge you to refocus your efforts. Stop worrying about the rules and the religion of it. Open your Bible. Pray. Get closer to Him and learn about Him. See the love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and compassion He had and learn to live that way.

I promise you, your Christian walk will get so much easier when you put down the rules and pick up the relationship.

So you're single?

In today's culture, being single is a curse. 

By the world's standards, you're odd if you walk through life alone.

Fortunately, as a Christian, being single is a good thing. Now don't get me wrong, there is a time and a place for marriage and it is beautiful in God's sight. However, marriage doesn't happen overnight, and chances are, you will have a few years going it alone, or maybe you know someone who is single. So, here's a little encouragement and advice...

Being single, when you have the right attitude about it, can be a blessing. I'd be willing to bet that anyone who just loathes the idea of being single isn't comfortable enough with their own self. They must not love themselves enough or feel confident enough in their own skin to go through life alone for a little while. Don't be that person. Don't associate your value with someone else. Learn to love yourself and to enjoy your own company. I guarantee you life will be so much more enjoyable. Fall in love with the life God gave you and live it to it's absolute fullest, with or without someone by your side.

While being single may not be enjoyable long term, it has it's benefits.

Benefit #1: Freedom

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interest are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the thing of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

So let me clarify. This doesn't in any way state that being married is bad or wrong. It does, however, point out that singles have more time to devote to pleasing the Lord in worship (which is our purpose on earth) and that they aren't distracted by a spouse and children or money (worldly things). So if you find yourself single in this season of your life, thank Him. Learn about Him. Get closer to Him. Get so deep in the Word and so close to your God that worship becomes your way of life. Focus on the positive aspects of your singleness (like more time for worship and eternal work) and stop living in the negativity the world places on being single. Be different. Just because everyone says you should be miserable and frustrated that you're single doesn't mean you have to be. Have a backbone and be an individual, not a group.

You don't need someone else in life to validate your existence as a human being. 

Be yourself, enjoy your freedom, and thank God for where you are right now.

Benefit #2: You get the chance to do this the right way

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

This verse is saying, quite plainly, "don't date the unsaved." It's just that simple. I know you might think you can change them or that you can convince them. But God doesn't ask you to do that. Sure, be a witness, bring them to church, talk to them about God and pray for their salvation. But don't get emotionally invested, d o n ' t   d a t e   t h e m .  

So many Christian singles, I feel, have started relationships with people who may claim to be a Christian or go to church or believe in a "higher power" but they don't live out their faith. And I can promise you, the chances of this changing for the better are slim. I can't stress to you enough that this will cause you problems. If you ever plan to be a devoted and dedicated Christian, being unequally yoked will hold you back, stress you out and ruin your own personal walk with God. It will cause you to become miserably stagnant because you can't run the race God has for you with a spouse who is sitting down. Either you'll move away from God going after your spouse, or you'll move away from your spouse going after God. Either way, it will cause you unnecessary pain in life.

Oh, you're not going to marry them, you're just dating them? Well that's a whole new post in itself, but let me just tell you that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. So, you'll invest your time, money, and feelings into someone, expecting not to grow closer to them and fall more in love with them, just to walk away? Sounds like a failing plan that will soon end miserably if you ask me.

But really pray about this verse in your walk as a single Christian. Pray that God would prepare the one for you and lead them to you. I know waiting can be difficult and downright painful sometimes but don't settle. Please, please, please don't settle. You are worth more than settling for someone who doesn't share your values and the love for your Savior. If they don't walk with Christ and learn to love as He loved us, they will never be capable of loving you like Christ loves His church.

Please don't settle. Enjoy your singleness. Enjoy the freedom. Develop healthy, Christian relationships and friendships that bring you closer to God in your walk. Give yourself the chance to do this the right way so that you have the happiest and most fulfilled life you can possibly have, the way God intended for it to be. Focus more on what you can do for God, rather than what you can do for a significant other. 

When two come together in a mutual love for Christ and they learn and grow in the love of Christ, it brings them closer together. The closer they get to God (the center), the closer they become with one another.

It may be a long wait. Every story is different. But don't settle. Find other Christian singles to learn about life and God together to ease the confusion, frustration and anxiousness. Get involved with a local Christian singles group in your church or a church near you. You don't have to go through this time alone because God is with you and will never leave you nor forsake you.

Don't jump the gun.

Trust Him and His perfect plan for your life.

Trusting as Easily as Breathing

Trusting God wholly and completely for the outcome of a situation is really hard to do when your heart is invested in something.

I know because that is what I struggled with last year as I awaited my answer regarding the world race. In fact, it's what I'm struggling with today, as I'm writing this, again, awaiting the results of my acceptance to the world race.

I'm a missionary. I don't live in a foreign country, I haven't gained support of a church to go overseas, but I've given my heart to missions. I've given my heart to God and He has burdened me for missions. 

In my search for His will in my life, I've discovered the world race. If you have been following me on this blog for the last year, you'll remember that I wasn't accepted last year but that I applied again this year, hoping that in my faithfulness, God would bless.

What I've come to realize is that He has no obligation to bless my faithfulness to my own heart's desires. He will bless my faithfulness to His desires, and His alone. 

Trust isn't something you can force yourself to do, especially if you've been hurt in the past or if things haven't worked out for you. Unfortunately, you can't make yourself trust, but there are steps you can take to learn to let go of a situation and to gain peace about it, all while learning how to trust.

I truly feel that the first step in trusting God is to let go. 

Let go of your wants or fears. Let go of your control. Let go of yourself and hold on to God. Get close to Him, pray to Him, ask for His help.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Just take a deep breath and let it all go.

 After you let go of the control, let go of the idea that your way is the best way.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God's way is the best way. The only way for you to realize that is to let God have His way and to stop thinking that you know it all. Life is a huge puzzle and he sees the end result. Remember that there are pieces you can't see from where you are right now. Trust that He sees and hears and knows all and has the best plan to make you prosper in His name.

If you struggle with letting go, ask Him for help. Pray to Him. He hears you.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it shall be yours.

Remember not to pray selfishly. Pray for the will of God to be done. Pray for His perfect timing, His perfect solution, His perfect plan. He will do it.

Get rid of the idea in the back of your mind that if you follow these steps and pray for His will that He will still give you what you want. He sees our hearts and He knows if you truly desire His will or your own.

You may still not get the answer you had hoped for. Thank Him for that. 

Why?

Because if He says no, then He has a greater plan in store that you can't imagine. 

Today, this is my hearts prayer: that I will learn to trust Him as easily as I breathe and that I will thank Him for whatever answer He gives. I pray that if He closes the door on something, I will desire to continue to praise Him in the hallway until He opens the next door.

Pray that way with me. Learn to let go and trust Him.

Not-Your-Average Blog About Church

The subject of church is touchy.

To many people, church is a way of life, a non-negotiable part of how they were raised and who they are. To others, church is a preference. 

For the sake of being open-minded, clear your head of all of the boundaries you put on church, just for a moment. Erase the rules and regulations you may have grown up under and focus, just for a few minutes, on what God says about church.

First of all, the term "church" isn't referring to a building or a specific place at all. So any concept that Christ REQUIRES physical church attendance 3 times a week is ridiculous. In His writings about the "church" He is actually referring to Christians or believers as a whole. 

Romans 12:5 - So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.

Ephesians 2:21 - In whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple IN THE LORD.

As a believer and follower of Christ, you are a part of a large group, or body of members. Together, we make up His "Church."

1 Corinthians 3:9 - For we are God's fellow workers. You are God's field, God's building.

As the Church of Christ, we should join together with other believers to fellowship with one another, encourage one another, love one another, worship God together, and share in our efforts to tell the world about Jesus. Unfortunately, so many "churches" these days have stopped at fellowship. Judgement has clouded their eyes and they can  no longer find it within themselves to encourage and love their fellow members. 

Ephesians 4:15-16 - Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow that it builds itself up in love.

Just as a Pastor leads his church members, or a shepherd leads his sheep, Christ leads the church (entire body of believers). The physical church, which we are accustomed to attending, as actually a physical imitation of Christ's relationship with us as Christians.

Aside from failing to love and encourage one another, Christians of the local church, I feel, have honestly forgotten (or maybe they were never taught) what our existence on earth is for. God made us for His utmost glory. We were created in His perfect image to worship Him with all of our days. Unfortunately, many people lose sight of our purpose and get so bogged down with this life we have created that will ultimately fade to absolutely nothing. 

On top of losing sight of our purpose, when mankind sinned, Jesus had to pay our price to make a way for us to get to Heaven with our sinless Creator. As a result, we are called to seek and to save people who are still lost in their sins. One of the purposes of the local church is to join together in our commandment to go unto the earth and spread the gospel. 

Mark 16:15 - And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."

It breaks my heart to see local churches ministering to only the few members within their walls. This is such a misrepresentation of what God called us to do. In all honesty,  i t   i s   a   w a s t e   o f   t i m e . 

God didn't write the Bible and ask us to choose a handful of principles to live by. He wrote the complete and infallible Word of God to teach us how to live like Jesus, to give us examples of how to love, to command us to reach the world with the gospel, and to invite us to have a personal love relationship with him in which we can't stand to NOT worship.

So now that you know what the church is and should be doing, lets talk about a few common misconceptions about church.

~ The church was intended for so much more than 3 required services a week and a dress code. 

Nowhere in the Bible does it tell you to attend church a certain number of times a week. If your relationship with God is strong, you will WANT to go to church to fellowship with others of a like mind, and to work in reaching the world for Jesus. 

Dress codes are man made to keep a group of people in accountability to man, they do nothing for reaching the world for Christ. You can argue all day with me, but modesty is an opinion and personal conviction for Christ. Dressing someone up on the outside changes nothing about their heart and it is so sad to see so many churches waste their time and energy on such irrelevant things.

~ Church can't and shouldn't take the place of your PERSONAL relationship with God.

Being in church doesn't make you "spiritual" and being out of church doesn't make you unsaved. In fact, as sad as this sounds, some of the farthest people from God are found within the walls of the local church. How is this possible? Because so many people confuse going to church with being close to God. Just because you attend church every time the doors are open, doesn't mean you are close to God. Many people sit through service after service and never hear a word because they are so mentally distracted or their hearts are just closed off to the Word of God. To have a personal relationship with God, you have to treat it as you would a relationship with someone important to you. You can't ignore someone for 10 months out of the year and expect to know all about them and be close with them, can you? No. So why do we try that with God? We have to talk to Him every day in prayer. We have to read his Word, the Bible, the beautiful love letter He wrote us to learn more about Him and how He wants us to act. It takes effort. And just as any other relationship, there will be days you don't feel like talking to Him. You'll get busy. Focus on making Him a priority every single day. It's a choice. A daily choice.

~ Going to church WON'T make you a better Christian.

I hear this so often. "Well, I decided I needed to start being a better Christian and get back in church." No, let me stop you right there. First of all, there aren't good and bad Christians. There are Christians walking closely with God and doing His work, and Christians who aren't. Sadly, many of the Christians who aren't, are the ones sitting in the pews EVERY Sunday getting that worldly praise for doing the right thing, when in reality, all they are doing is attending another meeting. Christians walking with God and doing His will are often found in the middle of ministry on the mission field, maybe locally or internationally. So, reevaluate next time you think going to church will make you better or help you "better" yourself. No. Getting closer to God will make you better. Learning about your Savior, your Creator and his desires for you life will make you better, not sitting on a church pew 3 times a week. It's not about the motions, its about the heart. Don't look outward, look inward.

~ Forcing your own personal convictions on people won't reach others for Christ, in fact, it deters them.

This one is probably one of my biggest pet peeves, honestly. I understand that, as a Christian, we are to uphold a standard of living and way of life that pleases God. But look back at our mission commanded to us by God: to reach others. So if forcing your opinion of dress on a nonbeliever makes them walk away from the doors of your church, then you're doing it wrong. In fact, Christians often take it a step further and take it upon themselves to judge other Christians based on what they wear, who they hang out with, where they spend time, and what music they listen to. This also pushes people away from church and the judgmental Christians within it. 

Matthew 7:1 - Judge not, that you be not judged.

John 8:7 - And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her."

We weren't placed on this earth to judge anyone or to tell anyone how to live. Sure, we may not agree with them or their actions, but focusing on others takes our focus off of Christ.

Realizing what the purpose of church is and isn't can really help you reevaluate how you look at church and how you view others. I'm hoping it helped someone out there to value the importance of their relationship with God, rather than valuing their attendance record. 

I suppose the end all, take away, I'd have for you in this blog, would be to focus on your relationship with God and your position as a member in His local church. Remember your purpose and your mission: to worship God and reach others. Try not to lose sight of that in your busy week and seek opportunities to tell people about Christ or invite them to church with you.

It could save a life. Literally.

Forgiveness = Freedom

In my last post we talked about letting go of negativity, sins, and things holding us down and being free in Christ. Sometimes, in order to let go, we must learn to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't come easy, and more often than not, takes time.

But just why exactly should you forgive someone who has hurt you or sinned against you? Better yet, what if they don't even want your forgiveness?

It's pretty simple. The answer is freedom.

Forgiveness = Freedom

Sometimes we find ourselves so emotionally connected to people we have no desire to be emotionally connected with because we're harboring pain they have inflicted on us and we carry it around like an accessory. The more we hurt, the more we hate what they have done, the more entangled with them our hearts become. You can't stop thinking about it and it begins to consume you. If someone is hateful towards you, whether you want to admit it or not, somewhere deep down, it hurts. The most harmful thing you can do with that pain is to carry it around with you. Not only does it lead to problems in your own life, but you'll inevitably spread it to others. 

Hurt people hurt people.

Let that sink in.

So what can you do to be free of this pain? Forgive. 

Forgiveness is incredibly powerful. Think about it: how much easier is it to dislike someone who has hurt you, than to forgive them and love them? So don't look at forgiveness as spineless passivity. Look at forgiveness as a powerful, divine, strength. Why divine? Because our flesh can't truly forgive on it's own. It requires the love of Christ within us to truly forgive and let go. 

Our greatest example of forgiveness, after all, is Jesus himself. When he created perfect, sinless, humans for the purpose of loving and worshiping Him, we spit in His face by sinning against Him. If Jesus had responded like our flesh does, it would have been much easier for Him to hate our sin and laugh as we got everything we deserved. But, in His perfect holiness, He forgave our unjustified sins and gave Himself as our sacrifice to live eternally with Him. That's some incredible power and love right there!

So find the strength inside to say no to the hate. Ask God to help you forgive, even when it feels better to laugh at their karma. Once you take the first steps, He will soften your heart, and in time, you'll realize that you truly have let it go. It isn't an overnight solution. It begins with a willing heart and ends in complete freedom.

L e t  g o ,  f o r g i v e ,  e x p e r i e n c e  f r e e d o m .

It is the most satisfying feeling. I promise that the joy and freedom you will feel after you've truly forgiven will be 100 times better than the joy you may have in welcoming their failure.

Forgiveness isn't about how you feel. It is about willing your flesh to obey Christ's commands to forgive. T a k e   b a b y   s t e p s .  It starts with willing yourself to forgive.

Will it and you will feel it.

Let go || Be free

The world can be a pretty negative place.

There are a lot of things in life that will get you down. Break ups, mean friends, bad grades, financial stress, relationship issues, car problems, job loss, etc. But no matter the circumstance, whether you're being mistreated, made fun of, abused, lied about or lied to, taken advantage of or rejected, God loves you.

At your highest and in your lowest times, God has and always will love you.

S o m e t i m e s   w e   l e t   o u r   t r o u  b l e s   o v e r t a k e   u s .

Sometimes we let the sins of others distract us. 

But what's really important is that, in every step you take, God is right there with you and He loves you.

Often, the problem is our focus, our priorities. What is your focus? Are you too concerned with the people around you to focus on the fact that a sinless, Holy God loves you and wants a personal relationship with you?

Are you too caught up with society and the let down of not being perfect that you don't see that God made you PERFECT in every way and that you are a creation of a PERFECT God?

If you could just sit down today for a few moments and clear your head of the distractions of Satan, you will realize that in HIM, you are redeemed, set free, made new, a perfect creation.

Don't let the standards of others get you down and cause you to think bad of yourself. Don't let the pressure of the world confuse you into thinking you're not good enough.

D o n ' t  l e t  s o c i e t y  t e l l  y o u  h o w  t o  d r e s s  o r  h o w  t o  a c t  o r  w h o  t o  b e .

Don't let the sins and mistreatment of others manipulate you into thinking that you deserve less.

Let go of all of that negativity. Let go of your past. Rejoice in Christ's love and freedom.

Psalm 35:9 says "My soul shall be joyful in the Lord; It shall rejoice in His salvation."

Let go. Be free.

Accepting His Gifts

The last 3 days have been incredibly relaxing for my family. After a long summer on mission, we have finally taken a week long break to spend unwinding at the beach. In my relaxation, I've been overwhelmed by God's love and peace. What always seems to blow my mind is the way He presents the truth to me. It is always in such creative and subtle ways. Like I've said before, it's the little things that get me.

 

Anyways, I ran across this passage while I was reading one day by the pool:

 

 

God's love is a gift. It cannot be earned. Not because we are not worthy enough (which we aren't) but because gifts cannot be earned. They are given freely.

 

As the passage reads: "You cannot earn it, or it ceases to be a gift." I really loved the way that was presented in these few short sentences. So many times I feel myself feeling unworthy or disappointed in my sinful, selfish, fleshly self. However, this is merely a distraction of Satan. How better to hinder the work of Christ than by attacking His servants from the inside out?

 

So don't let the distraction and the lies of Satan hold you back. Don't feel like you're unworthy to do something great for God. His love is a gift. His forgiveness is a gift. His peace and mercy and grace are gifts. No matter how good we are, or how bad we may be, we cannot earn them and we cannot lose them. They are freely given, no matter how great our sins.

 

Don't let Satan win. Accept the gift and be something/do something incredible for Jesus. You are worthy because you are HIS. You are worthy because you have been made perfect in Him.