Overcoming Jealousy

Happiness and contentment are the type of life goals everyone strives for. Maybe we don't acknowledge it or realize it, but in our hearts, everyone truly wants to live a happy life. There are a lot of things that can ruin that happiness for us, however, and being a girl, I know that jealousy is often the fastest way to destroy our happiness. Once you catch a bad case of jealousy, it becomes so hard to shake.

Our culture is filled with advertisements of perfect-looking celebrities living the high life and smiling constantly with those perfectly white teeth and if we're being completely honest, it's hard not to compare you life to theirs and wonder how they do it. And if we want to be even more honest, sometimes it's hard to keep from looking at people's lives around us and wonder how it looks so perfect.

Too often that innocent curiosity leads us to examine our own life and come up disappointed that it doesn't seem as glamorous. That tiny seed of disappointment sticks with us and jealousy slowly creeps in. Once jealousy has made it's way in our hearts, we look up days, weeks, or months down the road and we completely despise the other person. Why? How? And how can we make it stop?

"Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4

"A heart at peace gives life to the flesh, but jealousy makes the bones rot." Proverbs 14:30

Jealousy is a nasty disease. What is really sad is that, in today's culture, it's become a trend to call yourself a "jealous girlfriend" or to proudly flaunt your jealousy as a warning to others to "back off." What people don't realize is that a small dose of jealousy can wreck and ruin your happiness and turn you into a bitter, hateful person so quickly that you won't even realize how you got there.

The only way to stop it is to find the real issue behind the jealousy and to start your repairs right there. What is jealousy? It is a state of being discontent that is often brought up by the want of what someone else has. So if we get down to it, jealousy often stems from discontentment with ourselves. Discontentment with ourselves is the result of poor self image, a lack of self confidence, and insecurity.

If you think about it, it really does make a lot of sense. When we are unhappy with ourselves and feeling insecure, it is easy to look at someone else and wish we had their life. Sometimes it is not even a conscious thought. Sometimes you can lack in your self confidence and not even realize it fully. If you begin to find yourself feeling jealous of others, look back at yourself. What about you is making you unhappy? What is stealing your joy? Too often we blame others, but if we got right down to it, our own disappointment in ourselves is what causes us to not only feel jealous of others and to dislike them, but to dislike ourselves as well. We begin to play the comparison game to make ourselves feel better and to bring others under us, maybe not out loud, but at least in our own hearts and minds.

There are a million reasons why you could dislike yourself. Maybe you want to lose a little more weight and you think you'd be happy. Or maybe you think going to the tanning bed will make you like yourself a little more. Or maybe a new makeup style or teeth whitener or haircut or outfit will make you feel confident.

Maybe.. but it's not likely.

Yes, there may be a million reasons to be unhappy with yourself, but there is one reason to love yourself that supersedes all of those reasons:

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27

"For man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God." 1 Corinthians 11:7a

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14a

"But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8

How can you allow yourself to be unhappy with exactly who you are and how you were made when God tells us that we were made IN HIS PERFECT IMAGE and that we are "wonderfully" made? How can you look in the face of our holy God and tell Him that what He molded with His hands is just not good enough?

But you wanna know a secret? Confidence isn't built by attaining the perfect looks, money, clothes, or working out. Confidence isn't a switch you flip, or a trait you learn. Confidence is an outlook. When you consciously choose to be positive, you will find that you are much happier. Why? Because seeing the bright side of things is much more enjoyable than dwelling on the down sides.

So how does that work for self image? Well, if you choose to look at yourself positively, the positives will outshine the things about yourself you might want to change. When your focus becomes the good in you, rather than the bad, you become happier and more content with yourself. This contentment gives you self confidence in yourself and jealousy immediately begins to dissipate. When you're happy with who you are, you focus less on what others are (or have) that you are not. You look at the positives, rather than the negatives. All around, life is happier.

But to clarify, having confidence doesn't mean you'll stop wanting to improve yourself. It doesn't mean you won't ever feel the need to lose weight or go tanning or buy the red lipstick. All it means is that in the process of improving yourself, you will learn to love yourself exactly how you are, with or without the improvements. It means that your happiness is no longer tied to standards you set for yourself, but rather the way you choose to see yourself, the world and others. 

"Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourself." Philippians 2:3

Who knew that the stronghold of jealousy could be broken by simply changing your thoughts and choosing to see yourself and others positively?

New Year || New Direction

In recent weeks I've been reflecting on the past very deeply, especially with this new year coming up and the major life changes it will bring for me. Some of my past dwelling has been eye opening, some of it has been very painful to think about. But this morning, as I once again found myself in one of those painful memories of my past, God reached down and told me to get up and move forward and to let go of my past.

Philippians 3:13 - Brothers, (and sisters) I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

This was the verse that literally popped up on my phone as a notification in the middle of my past dwelling pity party this morning. I have been asking God for months for direction, for a plan. I have been so lost and quite confused as to what my future will hold for me and what it might look like. As we came upon the Christmas season and hoards of old friends got engaged, it further internally frustrated me, not out of jealousy, but rather out of confusion at my own lack of clear direction.

I've had discussion after discussion on where I will live when I move to Florida this upcoming spring. I have contemplated job offers and wondered what life will look like in a year, or five, or ten. I've become terrified, excited, depressed and overjoyed all at the same time.

The truth is that I'm clueless.

I'm scared.

I'm excited.

I'm all of those things because, no, I don't know where I will be in one year, or five or ten. Heck, I don't know where I will be next month. But I am choosing right now to stop dwelling on my past. I'm choosing to stop letting those who hurt me back then hold me back in fear of my future. I'm choosing to let go of the control I have on my life, give the reins to God and just start moving.

Another reminder I received in perfect timing this morning from an amazing blogger, Lauren DeMoss (check out her blog at thefulltimegirl.com if you've never heard of her!):

"Waiting is not always righteous. Sometimes you need to get up, put your fears aside, and go DO something."

If that wasn't anymore applicable to my life right now, I don't know what is. I'm letting pain and fear hold me back from God's full potential with me. I have dreams and plans, but I've been too scared to start trying anything. A wise man (aka my father) once told me that God trying to steer a Christian who is too scared to move is like a ship captain moving a rudder of a ship without turning on the engines. He can turn that rudder to point the ship in ANY direction, but it won't go anywhere without movement, without power behind it.

I've been a ship without engines lately. I've been in such fear of making the wrong choice or going the wrong direction that I haven't gone in any direction. I've been sitting right here saying "God, show me where to go, please." But like that ship, I haven't moved an inch. God is waiting for me to start taking steps in FAITH so he can steer me in the path that I need to go.

What if I start off in the wrong direction? It's ok because God already knows and He's right here beside me every step of the way. He's looking for that tiny bit of faith like a small mustard seed, and He will use it to turn my direction to His path. 

2015 is a new year. It's a new start to walking in faith. It's a good time to start taking those steps and seeking direction from our wonderful, Creator. Don't discount God. Even when you're sitting still, too scared to move, asking for a clear direction in the absence of faith that we generally are, He's smiling because He just sent a notification to your phone. All you have to do is read it and realize that He is in total control.

I serve an incredible Savior.

Falling In Love.. and a Little Bit of My Journey

There are a lot of personal opinions floating around about love. Some people believe in love at first sight. Some people believe you only have one true love. Some people believe you can only fall in love with the one person you are meant to be with in our earthly life. I could go on and on.

Since this is my blog, I express the right to share my own personal opinion about love. I may not have a lot of answers about life, but I do know a little bit about love because I truly believe I've been in love. Before we go any further, I want to state another personal opinion. I fully believe that we as humans have the capacity to fall in love more than once and with more than one person. I don’t believe that falling in love is something God ordains. I believe He has a perfect will and plan for our lives, but I am firm in the belief that He has given us a free will for a reason. He has given us the option, the choice, to choose to love who we want, even if it’s outside of His plan. I believe there are varying degrees of love and the love we have for different people in our lives. The reason I believe it’s possible to love more than one person is because He actually commands us to love people, not just one person.

Mark 12:31

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.

Romans 13:8-10

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

When I read these verses where God commands us to love one another, I am so convinced in my heart that we have complete control over who we love. I think that if you put yourself in a place to fall in love, if you leave your heart open, if you’re looking for love and affection and inviting towards love, you will find it. And that’s not always the best thing. Not everyone around you who loves you back, or even falls in love with you is meant to spend their life with you. I think maturity, wisdom, and seeking God and His perfect plan will help lead you in the right direction. So many times nowadays, I see girls literally begging for love, seeking it, inviting it, and it terrifies me for them because I know what it’s like to fall in love with the wrong person. I know what it can do to your life, because I saw what it did to mine.

I was 17, recently heartbroken, and just trying to enjoy my summer before senior year when I fell in love. It was a boy I had liked since I was 14 and the timing had just never worked out. That summer was an absolute fairytale. I was on cloud nine and you couldn’t tell me anything. We were the captains of our sports teams and he modeled for Abercrombie. Our relationship looked perfect. My senior year passed in a whirlwind of emotions and once I got to college, the fighting started. I determined in my heart that I loved this boy more than my own life, and I wouldn't let hardships ruin what we had. I was there for him in the death of his grandparents, his house that burnt down, and his cousin's move back North. He was there for me when I had to move away to college and had fights with my dad so bad that I almost moved out more than once. I made him the center of my life. We even fought our families for each other if they came between us. There wasn’t a moment we weren’t together. I was head over heels in love and there wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do to make it work. Like any relationship, there were struggles, but from the outside, it looked like perfection to everyone else.

Five years later, I found myself in the emergency room of self-inflicted injuries and our relationship was a crumbling mess. I won’t go into the dirty details, but I can tell you that nothing I found out in those last hours was the result of my ending our relationship. Everything I was ending it over, I had known all along. At some point, I just realized that I was honestly not happy and that I couldn’t live that way another second of my life. No amount of love would force me to live like that.

There are a lot of psychological reasons my relationship ended the way it did. There is a lot of baggage and hurtful memories I will never share. There is a lot of pain. But in the end, I realized one thing: I had allowed myself to fall in love with the wrong person.

I know what it means to be in love. I fully understand going to the ends of the earth and back for someone, even if they won’t reciprocate, because you love them. I know what it means to love someone who cheats on you and lies to you, but you never say a word about it because all you want in life is to make it work out. I understand loving someone with every fiber in your being and praying every night that one day they will love you like you love them. I know.

But I was wrong. The entire time, I was completely wrong. I was in love with the wrong one. I let myself fall for the wrong person. Instead of seeking God first, and falling in love with Jesus and letting Him point me to the right one, I followed my heart. And my wicked, imperfect heart led me to the most attractive, most athletic, funniest guy I knew. My heart fell in love with the wrong boy, and I let him break me into little pieces.

When it all ended, I made it my life’s goal to find Jesus, learn about Him, and fall in love with Him. I wanted nothing else in life but to be completely in love and sold out for Jesus. I found a satisfaction and a genuine, soul-deep happiness that you just can’t find anywhere else. You can’t find it in sex. You can’t find it in love. You can’t find it in status, or money, or friends. It is only found in Jesus.

And let me tell you something else. If you’re all caught up in falling in love and meeting “the one” and getting married and having babies and starting a family, then I suggest you slow it down and take a look at your walk with Christ before you crash and burn like I did. I wanted a perfect life and family so bad that I ran head first into disaster looking for it. I grabbed a lover by the hand and we sprinted to destruction because God was nowhere near our top priorities, much less our number one priority. And don’t get me wrong, we went to Sunday School, church, and Wednesday night services. My daddy was a deacon and our parents sat a row apart every Sunday. Like I said, we LOOKED like perfection walking. But God was not the center and we were a ticking time bomb. We took our own lives in our hands, fell in love with the wrong people, and we wrecked ourselves at only 22 years old. It was absolutely devastating, not only for us, but for all of our friends and family as well. It ripped our families apart and shattered so many people close to us. It was, by far, the hardest, most emotionally challenging, painful experience I have ever endured.

And what was the worst thing about it all? I was still in love the day I walked away. I literally felt as if I ripped my own heart from my chest. So if anyone knows a thing or two about love and breakups, I think I qualify. And what I have to offer is Jesus. He is the ONLY one who fully satisfies. I beg you to seek Him before you seek a relationship. When you find Him you will know love. You will know happiness. You will know peace. He is all of those and more.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Deuteronomy 6:5

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Learn from my mistakes and don’t allow yourself to fall in love with the wrong person. You have a free will. Use it to seek your Creator who gave it to you and He will make your life incredibly satisfying beyond anything a lover can give. I can promise you that because He is something else I know a little bit about.. not a lot, not as much as I wish to know. But every day I wake up with the priority to make Jesus first, to fall in love with Him a little more and it is so satisfying.

When You Just Can't Shake the Emptiness

Feeling alone is really common.

You might feel like you're the only one, but you're actually not.

You might feel like there's no one to catch you if you fall, but there is, you just don't know Him well enough.

My heart aches for you if you feel this darkness. It's impossible to shake on your own. You can fill the void with people, or friends, or shopping, or activities, or things, or food, or boys, but you know as good as I do that once you walk back through the doors of your room at night, the feelings are right back with you.

I completely understand. I know what the distractions feel like. They make you feel alive again. They make you feel happy. But the minute they're gone, so is your soul. 

The only way to shake the void is to fill it with something lasting, something that won't disappear.

That thing is Jesus.

Jesus is love, and happiness, and peace. He is all things good. And these are some of His promises to you:

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Jesus won't leave the hurt in your heart. Whatever got you to this dark place, whatever wrong was done to you, He will heal in His time. The key is patience and trust. God doesn't work on your time, He works on His time, because His ways are perfect. Trust Him. He will heal your hurt.

Romans 8:28 - And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Things may not be ok right this moment, but they will work out. They will work out in God's timing and in God's way and it will be the best possible solution. And it generally turns out better than anything we could have planned or come up with on our own because God's resources are unlimited. He is the Creator of all. Again, trust His plan and his timing.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with ALL OF YOUR HEART.

Not only does God have a greater plan for your life than you could imagine, but He wants to reveal himself to you if you will seek Him. However, as the last verse state, you must seek Him with your whole heart. Not your Sunday morning heart. Or your Wednesday night heart. Your whole heart. Every week, every day, every moment. Every happy time and every dark time. Seek Him. And once He reveals himself to you, it will be an experience you'll never recover from. It will be a lasting happiness and joy and peace (even in hard times) that you can't get away from. 

If you're looking in all the wrong places for all the things you can't find, look for God. And don't stop looking until you find Him.

I promise you, the journey is worth it. He is worth it.

God first, and why.

If there is anything I want to leave with you in my writings, it's that God deserves and demands us to live a God first life. God should be the absolute center and core of our being.

But before you can desire to live this way, you have to truly understand why. You have to honestly see who and what you are without God before you can fully appreciate and understand and accept and want a life that is sold out and God-centered.

What does the Bible say about people apart from God?

Romans 7:24 - Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?

Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God,

But God made a way:

Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If I try to live my life without Him:

John 15:5 - I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

Romans 8:8 - Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Know this: without God, you can do NOTHING.

But there's hope...

Philippians 4:13 - I can do ALL THINGS through Him who strengthens me.

So that's pretty basic, right? We are wretched, helpless sinners. God sacrificed His son to save our lives. If we accept that, and accept who we are, and accept His gift of life, we can live forever forgiven in Him. 

But you can do nothing without Him and all things (even what seems impossible) through Him.

Here's the catch: through HIM. Not through you. Not through church. Not through your friends, your family, your pastor, or your dreams. You can do nothing apart from God. Remember that.

Now that we've covered the basics, you should have a better understanding of why we need God. I mean, I shouldn't have to explain to you why you need God, because you know you better than anyone else knows you. Only you know what you do when no one else is around, when you're alone on the internet at night, or when you're out with friends who don't exactly live for God, or when you're on that date. Only you truly know what you're capable of and the deepest, darkest, nastiest parts of your heart and life. Only you.. and God.

And since you know who you are, and you know who you are apart from God, and if you've accepted His gift of life and want to spend forever in Heaven with Him, somewhere deep inside you should be a part of you that wants to please Him and live for Him. Even if it's kind of far down there, kinda quiet, kinda hidden and pushed away right now, you should feel it down there.

My advice to you is to start looking for Jesus. Start praying (talking to Him like He's a friend), start reading your Bible, or even just googling verses for what is applicable to your life right in this moment. No matter how you do it, if you're ACTIVELY looking for Him, He'll show himself to you. And when He does, it will change your life. It will change your outlook and your desires and how you choose to live. It will give you a peace and happiness that won't go away just because your circumstances are less than ideal. It will give you a love for His people and a passion to give them this joy and hope you have.

I promise you, that if you're a Christian, and you're looking for God every day, every moment, you will become so happy and so burdened to reach others than the small stuff won't matter anymore. Even the big stuff will look less worrisome because your priorities and your focus will fall into place. You'll fully understand and believe that nothing else in this life matters except living for God, praising and loving Him, giving Him glory and spreading what He's given you to everyone you possibly can.

Knowing God will change you. Try it.

Matthew 6:33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

Because why should I stay pure?

Let's talk about sex.

Sex isn't a dirty word. Sex isn't a dirty thing. In fact, sex within marriage is beautiful. However, Our society has twisted the concept of sex and confused our culture.

Before I get started, as I know what a touchy subject this is, I want to say a few things, disclaimers if you will. First of all, many of you who have been sexually active in the past, or are currently sexually active, have already tuned me out, if you're even still reading. Don't. Give me a chance. Listen to what I have to say. This is for you just as much, if not more, than for any other readers.

Second, just because I blog about something, doesn't mean I'm perfect or have been perfect in that area. In fact, what I choose to write about often comes out of life lessons I've learned personally, or just things I'm strongly convicted about. 

Third, nothing I say here is intended to come across as "holier than thou." Actually, it's the exact opposite. I am a forgiven sinner just like you. If you have any questions or want more scripture references or information on anything I've talked about in this post (or other posts), please email me at heidilynne91@gmail.com. I'd love to help in any way that I can.

The first thing I want to start with is a reference to scripture, because I want you to understand where I'm deriving my opinions from. I know that society has painted sex in a different light than what it was intended for by God and that being sexually active before marriage is very common and even encouraged in our culture. I want to change how you see it.

1 Corinthians 6:13-20
13. Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food - and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
14. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
15. Do you not know that your bodies are member of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!
16. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, "The two will become one flesh."
17. But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
18. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
19. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20. for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Before I begin to pick apart any of these verses, I want you to ask yourself a question.
"What are my intentions?"
Are you looking for what you're allowed to do? Are you looking for what you can get away with? If the answers are yes to either, then you need to adjust your intentions and your motives before you can fully believe and obey any of God's word.

If you're not committed to seeking to please God in everything you do, then nothing I have to say about sexual purity today is going to help you because that is another issue in itself. 

Verse 13(b) - The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
This is pretty straightforwardly telling us that our body is meant for the Lord's purposes, and that immorality is not one of His purposes for us. Immorality is defined as: sexual misconduct, wickedness, evil, dishonesty, etc.

So what exactly is sexual misconduct? Let's continue...

Verses 15 & 16 - Do you not know that your bodies are member of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For as it is written, "The two shall become one flesh."
This clearly shows us that our bodies are members (an individual thing belonging to a group) of Christ. Christians are people who belong to Christ. The next few lines discuss that when two people have sex, they become members of each other, or they become one. The ONLY person we should become one with is God first, and our spouse second. If we are becoming one with anyone other than God or our spouse, we are committing sexual misconduct.

This next verse is what really convicted me.
Verse 17 - But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him.
When I read this, I heard as clear as day, "The Lord cannot join with someone who is joined to someone else outside of marriage." Call me crazy, but I believe God still speaks to our hearts if we are open to listen.
This is where your motivation comes in. Are you motivated to see what you can get away with, or are you motivated to be one with the Lord?

Think about that.

Versse 18-20 - Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
These verses are also pretty cut and dry.
Run far away from sexual immorality (sex outside of marriage). Period.
Why would you want to commit a sin against yourself? Why would you intentionally hurt your own body? You were purchased by Jesus' life on the cross, so therefore, it isn't even yours to do as you want. It is His. We are to live in a way that pleases God and God alone.

Which brings me back to the original question: What are your intentions?

Are you wholeheartedly seeking to please God in everything you do?
Are you sold out, willing to give every inch of your heart and soul to Him, including your sexual purity? Are you REALLY a follower? Or are you just a fan?

If a man loves you, and loves God more than you (which is how it should be), he will wait. If he won't wait, then it's not you he wants, but it's sex. Anyone can say "I love you," but the ultimate test is proving it.

The first step to staying pure in your current, or any upcoming relationships is talking about it. Bring out your Bible, have your significant other read these verses. If they react in anger, you'll know that your relationship isn't about love, it's about sex. If they believe God and the word of God as you do, they'll agree. Putting your convictions out in the open and discussing what you read in your devotion time with God is a good way to keep healthy communication in your God first relationship.

God is love. God is forgiveness. Anything you've done, or will do, He can and will forgive. But let me warn you not to be a  r e p e a t   o f f e n d e r .  Don't use the excuse that God will forgive you to purposefully commit the same sins over and over and over again. 

Because if you know what is right in your heart, and you continue to do wrong, are you truly even sorry?


Seek God. Stay pure.

Rules or Relationship?

Religion is something we often confuse for a relationship.

Just because you go to church, wear certain clothes, or even read your Bible, doesn't mean you have a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

A relationship takes work. It's not as simple as following certain rules. To make a real relationship work healthily and happily you have to learn about the other person, their desires, their wants, their needs. You have to have a desire inside to want to please them. 

The confusion, unfortunately, often starts in our local churches. If you go to a church you will notice how the members dress, how they talk, act, etc. Not all, but many, of these churches hold their members to a certain standard of living and dressing and acting, which in itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Unfortunately, when the rules begin to take the place of your relationship with God, you've gone to far.

If you have noticed yourself falling out of your devotion time but following the rules of your church, I'd advise you to regroup and reevaluate. Why is it that you are following those rules? Why do you wear those clothes? Why do you go to every church service? Why are you singing in the choir? Why are you tithing?

Is it to please people in your church? Is it even to please yourself?

Or are you genuinely doing it to please God Himself?

T h i n k   a b o u t   t h a t .

And once you've come to a conclusion, get back in the Word of God. Dive deeper into your relationship with Him. Challenge yourself to go an entire week of waking up 15 minutes early to spend reading about Him in His Word, getting to know your Savior, and praying and talking to Him. Challenge yourself to listen to worship music on the way to church, school, work, or errands in the morning. Just one car ride a day. Try it, I dare you.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

The more you learn about your Savior, I promise you, the more you will fall in love with Him. Life is not about following a set of rules or looking or acting a certain way. Jesus gave Himself as a sacrifice to save us from those rules and to give us a relationship and eternal life in Heaven with Him. Don't miss out on that beautiful fact because you are too busy measuring your skirt for Sunday School.

In the Bible, Jesus was upset with the Pharisees because He commanded us to keep the Sabbath holy, and they added all of these stipulations to that commandment. They created a rule saying that if you threw something into the air with one hand, you had to catch it with the other or you were not keeping the Sabbath holy. Sounds ridiculous right? 

Well how do you think it looks to God when He commands us to be modest and we are over here kneeling on the ground to measure how many inches above our knee that our skirt falls or we squint our eyes to see if any single hair is touching a boy's ear? It's a modern day version of the rules the Pharisees made up. We are adding to what God commanded (which was to be modest) and adding to His Word is a sin.

Proverbs 30:5-6 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.

Deuteronomy 4:2 You shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you.

Now don't get me wrong, rules are necessary at a school or in certain situations, however, if we become more obsessed with following the rules than having a relationship, we are in for a very long and difficult road. One thing that has burdened my heart since I was in high school was that, in our Christian Schools, we hold our high school kids to a certain standard, we dress them up, cut their hair and judge their behavior, but we fail to teach them about who Christ really is and WHY they should want to behave this way.

We fix up the outside but never work on the inside.

I watched too many of my friends in high school get fed up with the "rules of Christianity" and walk away from God altogether to ever allow that to happen in my own life or family. I want to live the kind of life that people will know from the moment they meet me that I love Jesus with all of my heart and soul. I want them to see Him living inside me and know that I walk with Him daily. If I break one of their added on rules, then fine. If I slip up and sin, it is life. But I want people to see that no matter whether or not I may screw up (because I will, it's inevitable because I'm a sinner), that I love Jesus with my whole heart and soul, and their rules and religion won't ever change me. Only He can.

I challenge you to refocus your efforts. Stop worrying about the rules and the religion of it. Open your Bible. Pray. Get closer to Him and learn about Him. See the love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and compassion He had and learn to live that way.

I promise you, your Christian walk will get so much easier when you put down the rules and pick up the relationship.