Following Jesus... with URGENCY.

Matthew 16:24 - Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

We've all heard this, right? Put away your old self and put on the "new man" that Christ has given you and follow Him. And as Christians, that is what we're doing every day, right? Or at least we should be.

I know, personally, that denying yourself every day, every moment, takes a lot of work. It takes diligence and determination. It takes a heart that fully believes in God and is daily saturated in the scriptures. Maybe you're still working on that and maybe you've got it down. So let me put a twist in the commandment for you:

Not only did Jesus call us to let go of our old lives and follow Him, but He asks us to do it with urgency.

Matthew 8:22 says, "Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead."

At first glance, this verse caught me really off guard. Upon a little research, I figured out what the passage was about. Many of Jesus' followers were telling him that they wanted to follow Him and He was explaining to them the costs of truly following Him. The verse before this one (Matt 8:21) says, "Another of the disciples said to him, "Lord, let me first go and bury my father.'"

In today's speech, that may seem like this man was only mourning the recent death of his father and needed to take care of his funeral and burial, etc. However, in those days, language of this sort often meant that his father was not yet passed away. Maybe he was elderly or sickly, but often words like this would mean that he intended to stay with his father until he reached death and that could be weeks or it could be years.

So basically the man was telling Jesus that he wanted to follow Him as soon as his father passed away but it might be a while. He was telling Jesus that he believed what Jesus was teaching and he wanted to make a difference but what was most important to him at this moment was spending the final days of his own father's life with him.

Now that doesn't seem too selfish of a motive to stay home, right? I mean, yeah, maybe he should just let it all go and follow Jesus right then and there but would you? I mean, think about it: If it was your mom or dad and they were elderly or maybe sickly, would you leave them to follow Jesus and possibly miss the last days of their life on earth? 

It's a lot to commit to.

And since Jesus is God and God knows everything, He knew exactly what that man's family situation was like. He knew if his father was actually dead or not. He knew if his father was old or sick or dying. He knew. 

And this is how he responded: "Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead." (Matthew 8:22

Again, I questioned the deeper meaning behind these words and found that Jesus was telling him to leave the spiritually dead to bury the physically dead. Wow. That seems pretty harsh. He was basically telling the man that he needed to leave his father and follow Him and leave those who were spiritually dead to wait around on his father's death and let them worry about burying him.

That's a lot to take in. But the one thing I understood clearly from these 2 verses is that Jesus wasn't playing when He asked us to follow Him. That wasn't just a polite gesture or a nice option for Christians who wanted a more fulfilled life. He commanded us to follow Him and He expects us to do it with urgency.

WHY?

1 Peter 2:21 says, "For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps."

Because Christ suffered and died on the cross so that it was even possible for us to go to heaven, that's why.

And He knows that anything in this life, even good things like our family, can get in the way of His command. We need to reevaluate our walk every single day and ask ourselves if we're following Him with urgency.

He doesn't want you to wait until you've graduated high school and have a "real job."

He doesn't want you to wait until you're a college grad with a degree and a "direction."

He doesn't want you to wait until you're married or married with children.

He doesn't want you to wait until your kids are grown or your parents' health is better.

He doesn't even want you to wait until you're financially stable.

Matthew 8:20 And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head."

Jesus wants you right here, right now, no matter what personal circumstances you are going through, to lay down your own life and to pick up the life He gave for you and follow Him. No matter how crazy or "irresponsible" or insane that might sound, He made you, so He knows what is best for your life. He knows that the life He has for you, even if it includes not having a permanent place to lay your head, He knows it is better than anything you can do on your own. He also already knows what you will choose to do.

And what is absolutely, most beautiful about Jesus, is that despite what we choose, He will love us and continue to make a way for us, no matter what.

That's incredible love.

To me, that's worth giving up everything I'll ever have to follow Him.

Ask yourself in your heart, are you willing to leave everything and everyone behind and say "yes" to following Jesus no matter where it takes you?

I hope so.

Free Pass

A professor at a prominent university welcomed his students on the first day of class with a gift. He said, "Everyone in this class is valuable to me. I want everyone to be able to learn freely, without the fear of failure this semester, so I have a gift for you all. Everyone will receive an A for this class. You don't have to do anything to earn it and it won't drop, no matter your involvement or participation in the class. You can take this gift and slack off and learn nothing, or you can take this gift and use this class to learn as much as you possibly can, rise above, and become the best you can be, without the fear of failure looming in the back of your minds. It's up to you what kind of student you will be."

Upon first hearing this story, I immediately thought back to my years of college and what I probably would have done with the free A. That would have most likely been my last day to show up for class and I would have spent my time sleeping in, hanging out with my friends, or doing work for other classes. Who wouldn't take advantage of a free A!?

Unfortunately, this is what most Christians have done with their salvation.  God looked down on us and loved us enough to give us a "free pass" to heaven if we accepted Christ's gift of salvation. Knowing our sinful nature, He set up this gift to where if we accepted it, it could never be taken away, despite our involvement in Christianity, despite our desire to share it with others, despite our sinful behavior. We've taken our "free pass" and chosen to sleep through the rest of our lives and to act as the world around us acts. Or we've chosen to pursue other dreams, goals, or hobbies that we deem more important or more pressing.

But what is more important or more pressing than the fact that people are dying around us every day and going to hell?

Let's get honest for a minute. How many people can you think back and say that you honestly helped them find and accept Jesus this year? Count them up.

On average, 55.3 million people die every year.

What kind of difference did you make in those 55.3 million people? How many of them do you think knew Jesus?

But maybe you weren't living right for most of this past year but recently you've decided to live for Jesus. Maybe you've decided to tell more people and live more boldly for Him. I commend you.

So, again, how many people did you tell about Jesus today?

151,600 people will die today.

How many people have you told about Jesus this hour?

6,316 people will die in the next hour.

Even as you read this blog, nearly 2 people die every second.

Our time on Earth is important. We were placed here to bring glory to God in our actions and to tell the lost about His gift of salvation. Think back over your day today and count up everything you did that you could say to God: "I did this, this and this today to bring glory and honor to You and I told these people about your gift to us."

I'm just as guilty. I fly through life without remembering why I'm even here most days.

We aren't here to graduate school, get a good job, get married, have kids, get a promotion, own our own company, or make a lot of money. Those things aren't necessarily wrong, but they aren't our purpose. We wonder why so many people feel lost and worthless and confused about their place and purpose in life when the reality is JESUS is our purpose. His glory & His story. That is why we are here. If you spend your time on Earth chasing all of those other worldly goals, you'll wake up every day feeling empty inside because Jesus is the only one who can fill that space. We were made for Him and He is the only one who can satisfy.

“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1

So what kind of college student are you? Would you take the A and slack off, accomplishing nothing? Or would you take the A and rise above, decide to learn and become better? How we respond to this gift shows our true character. You can take advantage of the gift and become lazy, or you can take the gift and become productive.

The choice is completely yours.

Take your "A" and do something great for Jesus. Take the incredible gift of salvation that He so graciously gave to us and become better. Live for Him.

Share it; tell the world.

"Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone."

Mark 16:15

It's all in the relationship

A lot of people turn to Christianity when they're hurting because it gives hope. Likewise, many people turn from Christianity when they're hurting because they have this misguided view that a "Christian's life" should be perfect and without pain because they claim to know Jesus.

I don't have the answers or the arguments for those people right now, but I do have something relevant.

In reading through Psalms these last few weeks, I've noticed the extreme ups and downs David goes through as he writes. I have identified in his pain and rejoiced in his prosperity. I think what I like most about this is that it shows the absolute humanness of David. It puts him on my level. He becomes relative through his human life.

In Psalm 38 verses 9-11 David pours his aching heart out to God. He's in such distress and feels that his friends and family have even given up on him. His internal pain just seems so unbearable. But just 4 verses later (verse 15) he professes his belief in God by saying that he trust that God will help (answer) him and that He is waiting for God's help.

This blows me away for a couple of reasons. David's pain and troubles make him very relative rather than just a "Bible character." And when people are in pain, they tend to only see their pain - nothing else. And the fact that David is describing his lament one minute but trusting and waiting on God the next seems so unlikely for a selfish human being to do. But that's what I love about it. David was a real man seeking God. And David had real sins, real problems, real pain. But he still looked to God. He never let the pain of sin and life take his eyes off his savior. And that to me is admirable. That gives me hope for ME.

The other thing I love about David is that when God did answer him and help him, He always gave credit to whom it was due. I think that so many times in our Christian walk, things are looking bright for us and we lose sight of the fact that they look so bright because of Jesus. We want to focus on the fact that we obey all the rules and we are good people and we have made such a good life, oh yay me. When in reality, everything good in us is because of Jesus.

It's so sad to me that it is so easy for us to lose sight of how desperately we need Jesus when things are going right in life. Life is so fabulous and we don't need God or even think about Him until someone close to us dies or we have a huge test or we're in financial trouble. As soon as something insanely bad is happening we remember that we need Him or we blame Him. The thought hurts my heart so deeply.

Christianity isn't a crutch. You can't pick it up when it benefits you. There are a lot of fakers out there but don't let them fool you. Christianity is all or nothing, It's a relationship, similar to a marriage. You're in or you're out, there's no "half way." You truly believe or you truly don't - pretending doesn't count. Attending church doesn't meet the requirements. Believing is the only way to Heaven and a relationship with Jesus is the only hope of a fulfilling life, even in the hard times.

That's what David had. A relationship with God. That's what takes David from being a simple sinner like the rest of us to someone we read about in the Bible and look up to. The relationship David had with God makes him seem not so relative to us anymore. But the best part of this is that we are capable of everything David was. We are just like him. Simple, sinners. But we become capable of so much more when we pursue an incredible relationship with God. He had a relationship that was so close that he felt completely comfortable spilling his aches and pains and fears to a holy God. A relationship where he completely trusted God's timing. A relationship that acknowledged the greatness of the God he served and uplifted and praised Him at all times, not just the good times. And we can have it too.

God sees your pain. He knows you're hurting. He has a plan and all you have to do is call on Him and trust His timing. You might still view the Bible as something that doesn't relate to you at all but in all reality, if you'd give it half a chance and read it - really READ it, not just pick a "popular" verse from here or there - you'd see that everything you deal with in your everyday, ordinary life is paralleled in this incredible love letter from our incredible God. Life won't always be easy to understand or explain, but we do have hope through our amazing God. And you have access to that hope if you choose to accept it.

Out of everything I've learned in the last few years, the most important thing I've kept with me is that it's ALL about Jesus. And if it's all about Jesus, the smartest thing you'll EVER do in life is to take Him up on His offer to have a personal relationship with you.

Get in the Bible and get to know Him like David did.

You'd be stupid not to.

Don't lose sight of the Son

Getting up early after only four and a half hours of sleep was really hard this morning, but the moment I stepped outside my cabin and saw the sun shining through the trees I was reminded of why I do this.

I was reminded of my mission. I was reminded of all the souls that will step on this property starting today for the next 8 weeks and will see and experience Jesus like I've seen and experienced Him in my life. And I was completely renewed. I was just so in awe of the goodness of my heavenly Father.

If you're tired today, ifyou're coming to an end, if you've had enough, if you don't know which way to go or where to turn or who to talk to or who to blame or who to look up to... If you're confused or hurt or angry or bitter or sad or scared or just tired...

Look up and see the Son.

Just look up and know that God is there. God has never left. We just overlook Him as we go about our daily routine. We look around and see everything else in front of us and we miss the sun shining through the trees.

Be comforted in knowing that He is right beside you today no matter what you're going through, no matter what you've been through, no matter what you've done or who you are. God made you and God loves you - every bit of you, just the way you are. He loves you enough not to leave you where you are but to pick you up and carry you to where you need to be.

Take comfort in that this morning. Don't lose sight of the Son. Let your circumstances dissolve in the glory of His presence. He's the comfort & stability & love you seek.

Psalm 139: 7-10 says "Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me."

86, 400 seconds.

Every day is a chance to completely start over. Every day we have a decision to make about how we're going to live our lives. Every day we decide who we're going to spend our seconds serving.

The decision isn't made at a church alter when you were 5. Maybe it was initially, but every day you have to consciously decide again that today you will serve God & live for Him. If not, its so easy to blink & realize 5 years have passed and nothing you've ever done has significant value after life on earth ends.

Sure, everyone wants to do well in school, get a good job & car, have money, raise a good family.. but what will you have to your name when your heart stops beating and you take your last breath?

Don't just think about it.

Do something.

Do something worth something today. Determine to use your 86,400 seconds today for God. Tell a stranger about His love. Live out your faith to those closest to you. Live today for an eternal purpose, not human pleasure.

Ephesians 5:15-17 says Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Decode to make your 86,400 seconds count today.

God our Father... the genie?!

Today's blog is short and sweet, nothing crazy profound or drawn out. But, it's a point that I find to be very, very important.

This morning I read John 15:7 and it struck me that the words in some verses are left open to interpretation. God has given His word to us, and the option of having a close relationship with Him. Between the two of those, we should have the knowledge and wisdom to interpret the things He says in His word. However, I find that scripture is often misinterpreted, or just misunderstood.

John 15:7 says " If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you."

There are multiple verses throughout scripture that say something very similar to this and I find that 90% of the time, people focus on the wrong part of this verse. 

Naturally, we see "ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you" and think "wow, whatever I wish? God's like a genie!"

Another verse I hear misinterpreted often is Matthew 21:22 " And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

The problem with seeing these verses with the "ask and you shall receive" mentality, is that God didn't write them to tell you that He'll give you anything you want just because you prayed and asked for it. That's not the case at all. In fact, he warns us about this thought pattern specifically in James 4:3 " You ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions."

Here is why we too often ask "wrongly:"

The beginning of John 15:7 says If you abide in ME and MY WORDS abide in you.

This does not mean if you can recite a lot of scripture. This also does not mean if you are saved. This verse is saying that if you are walking with Christ daily, if you are living close to Him, soaking up His word, living in His word, and you ask for something, chances are that your priorities and desires will be in tune with His.

If you read the beginning of John chapter 15, you will see the analogy of God being a vine and people being branches. The point of this example was to show us that apart from Him, we are nothing. A branch that is not connected to it's vine is dead, useless. However, a branch that is connected to it's vine is living, and it is living because of the life given to it through the vine.

 If your will is aligned with His because you've been walking with Him daily and staying close to Him, your desires will become His desires. You will begin to want what He wants. What you ask for will be His will. And this is where the end of the verse "ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you" comes into play.

Let's look at Matthew 21:22. "And whatever you ask in prayer..." This doesn't mean that you bowed your head and closed your eyes and asked for something. This verse is saying, AGAIN, if you are walking with Jesus and your will has become His, in your prayer time with God, your requests will be God's will. What you ask for will be what He already wants for you. Not always. We are still human, we are still flesh. But if you are walking closely with Him, your wishes are more likely to be His wishes.

Look at it this way: have you ever had a best friend (maybe when you were younger) that you spent all of your time with? Maybe in the summer time when school was out, the two of you would spend every day and night together for weeks on end. You might notice (or maybe someone else noticed) that the things you say and do have become more and more like your friend (or vice versa). The more time you spend with someone, the more you become like them. 

So keep that in mind in your Christian walk. The more time you spend with Jesus, the more you'll become like Him. The closer your relationship with Him is, the better chance of having your desires granted because the better chance of your desires being His desires.

God was never promising Christians that we'd get whatever we wanted if we asked. He was promising complete happiness and fulfillment through Him if we walked with Him. He was promising that the desires of our heart would be fulfilled because they would align with His desires.

Remember that when you have fleshly desires. If your will isn't aligning with God's, spend a little more time with Him, get to know Him a little better, walk a little more closely with Him. Your wants will change and you will become more fulfilled and happy.

A relationship with Jesus is key to this life.

It will pay off, I promise.

Guard your heart

Your heart is incredibly important. Have you ever heard the saying "follow your heart?" Have you ever watched a friend of yours go through break up after nasty break up with someone who treated them badly, all because they "loved" them?

The emotions our heart feels are very powerful.

If you genuinely hate someone or something with all of your heart, it's nearly impossible to let that anger and hatred go sometimes.
If you truly love someone with every fiber of your being, you'll find yourself doing the absolute craziest things for them that are beyond logical.

Why?
Because we live according to our hearts.

That is why it is so desperately important to guard your heart from anything and everything that is not of God. Hearts can be incredibly illogical and emotional, but if we fill our heart with our love for Jesus, that crazy love for Him will direct us, not our love for someone or something else.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

This verse is so popular, but I truly think people look over what it is really telling us. Everything you do in life is a result of your heart's true condition. Your heart determines the course of your life. Think about it...

When you lash out at someone, it's because your heart is angry or frustrated at them or there is a deep rooted dislike within you.
If you go back into a relationship time and time again that you know is unhealthy, it's because your heart has a strong attachment to them, maybe even truly loves them.
If you are snobby and look down on people, it's because there is a prideful and haughty attitude within your heart.
If you are kind and loving to people who can do nothing for you in return, it is because there is a genuine love and kindness inside of you.

Everything you do, whether it's a quick reaction to a situation, or a deep rooted feeling for someone or something, everything you do flows from your heart.

Your behavior in life is a result of your heart's condition. That is why the beginning of that verse tells us to GUARD our hearts. God tells us in Jeremiah 17:9 that our hearts are desperately wicked. They are wicked because of sin in the world. We were born with a sinner's heart. But that is where grace and redemption come in. Because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, we're forgiven of that wickedness, but continually reminded throughout the Bible to guard our hearts from the evil in the world and give our hearts to Christ daily so that He can make us whole and clean again.

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Every day we must truly seek cleansing of our wicked hearts from God and be vigilant in guarding it from the evils of the world.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 and 22 tells us to "hold onto what is good and reject every kind of evil."

What evils should we be concerned about?
Well, some things are quite obvious, while others are not. Clearly, the Bible tells us not to lie, steal, kill, etc, but the evils that we must really guard our hearts against are the ones that sneak into our hearts through things that seem harmless.
Be careful what you entertain yourself with, whether it's music, tv. movies, social activities, etc. What may seem like or start as innocent fun can always turn bad in a moment's notice. Pay attention to what society accepts as "true," "right," or "common" because there are often hidden meanings within things that we take at face value.

I learned something from one of Andy Stanley's messages a few weeks back that I have been applying to everyday life and situations. He said that instead of asking if something is "wrong or right," or "good or bad," ask yourself "is it WISE?" Sometimes we end up sinning, or finding ourselves in a very bad situation because of multiple decisions we made that were not necessarily "bad" or "wrong" but they were not wise.

So before you get in your friend's car to head out to a "birthday party" or you buy that ticket to see a movie filled with sexual content, ask yourself "is this wise?" "Am I guarding my heart?"

Because going to the party and watching the movie aren't necessarily sins. But what may result (within your heart) from those decisions may be. When we allow ourselves to engage in things that are questionable or acceptable by society's standards, we aren't actively guarding our hearts. We're taking risks with our own well being. To guard is to protect. Taking risks with your heart doesn't protect it. Be wise.

What are you filling your heart with: love for God, or love for worldly things?
Protect your heart by being cautious of what you fill it with.

Overcoming Jealousy

Happiness and contentment are the type of life goals everyone strives for. Maybe we don't acknowledge it or realize it, but in our hearts, everyone truly wants to live a happy life. There are a lot of things that can ruin that happiness for us, however, and being a girl, I know that jealousy is often the fastest way to destroy our happiness. Once you catch a bad case of jealousy, it becomes so hard to shake.

Our culture is filled with advertisements of perfect-looking celebrities living the high life and smiling constantly with those perfectly white teeth and if we're being completely honest, it's hard not to compare you life to theirs and wonder how they do it. And if we want to be even more honest, sometimes it's hard to keep from looking at people's lives around us and wonder how it looks so perfect.

Too often that innocent curiosity leads us to examine our own life and come up disappointed that it doesn't seem as glamorous. That tiny seed of disappointment sticks with us and jealousy slowly creeps in. Once jealousy has made it's way in our hearts, we look up days, weeks, or months down the road and we completely despise the other person. Why? How? And how can we make it stop?

"Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?" Proverbs 27:4

"A heart at peace gives life to the flesh, but jealousy makes the bones rot." Proverbs 14:30

Jealousy is a nasty disease. What is really sad is that, in today's culture, it's become a trend to call yourself a "jealous girlfriend" or to proudly flaunt your jealousy as a warning to others to "back off." What people don't realize is that a small dose of jealousy can wreck and ruin your happiness and turn you into a bitter, hateful person so quickly that you won't even realize how you got there.

The only way to stop it is to find the real issue behind the jealousy and to start your repairs right there. What is jealousy? It is a state of being discontent that is often brought up by the want of what someone else has. So if we get down to it, jealousy often stems from discontentment with ourselves. Discontentment with ourselves is the result of poor self image, a lack of self confidence, and insecurity.

If you think about it, it really does make a lot of sense. When we are unhappy with ourselves and feeling insecure, it is easy to look at someone else and wish we had their life. Sometimes it is not even a conscious thought. Sometimes you can lack in your self confidence and not even realize it fully. If you begin to find yourself feeling jealous of others, look back at yourself. What about you is making you unhappy? What is stealing your joy? Too often we blame others, but if we got right down to it, our own disappointment in ourselves is what causes us to not only feel jealous of others and to dislike them, but to dislike ourselves as well. We begin to play the comparison game to make ourselves feel better and to bring others under us, maybe not out loud, but at least in our own hearts and minds.

There are a million reasons why you could dislike yourself. Maybe you want to lose a little more weight and you think you'd be happy. Or maybe you think going to the tanning bed will make you like yourself a little more. Or maybe a new makeup style or teeth whitener or haircut or outfit will make you feel confident.

Maybe.. but it's not likely.

Yes, there may be a million reasons to be unhappy with yourself, but there is one reason to love yourself that supersedes all of those reasons:

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27

"For man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God." 1 Corinthians 11:7a

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14a

"But now, O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are our potter; we are all the work of your hand." Isaiah 64:8

How can you allow yourself to be unhappy with exactly who you are and how you were made when God tells us that we were made IN HIS PERFECT IMAGE and that we are "wonderfully" made? How can you look in the face of our holy God and tell Him that what He molded with His hands is just not good enough?

But you wanna know a secret? Confidence isn't built by attaining the perfect looks, money, clothes, or working out. Confidence isn't a switch you flip, or a trait you learn. Confidence is an outlook. When you consciously choose to be positive, you will find that you are much happier. Why? Because seeing the bright side of things is much more enjoyable than dwelling on the down sides.

So how does that work for self image? Well, if you choose to look at yourself positively, the positives will outshine the things about yourself you might want to change. When your focus becomes the good in you, rather than the bad, you become happier and more content with yourself. This contentment gives you self confidence in yourself and jealousy immediately begins to dissipate. When you're happy with who you are, you focus less on what others are (or have) that you are not. You look at the positives, rather than the negatives. All around, life is happier.

But to clarify, having confidence doesn't mean you'll stop wanting to improve yourself. It doesn't mean you won't ever feel the need to lose weight or go tanning or buy the red lipstick. All it means is that in the process of improving yourself, you will learn to love yourself exactly how you are, with or without the improvements. It means that your happiness is no longer tied to standards you set for yourself, but rather the way you choose to see yourself, the world and others. 

"Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourself." Philippians 2:3

Who knew that the stronghold of jealousy could be broken by simply changing your thoughts and choosing to see yourself and others positively?

New Year || New Direction

In recent weeks I've been reflecting on the past very deeply, especially with this new year coming up and the major life changes it will bring for me. Some of my past dwelling has been eye opening, some of it has been very painful to think about. But this morning, as I once again found myself in one of those painful memories of my past, God reached down and told me to get up and move forward and to let go of my past.

Philippians 3:13 - Brothers, (and sisters) I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

This was the verse that literally popped up on my phone as a notification in the middle of my past dwelling pity party this morning. I have been asking God for months for direction, for a plan. I have been so lost and quite confused as to what my future will hold for me and what it might look like. As we came upon the Christmas season and hoards of old friends got engaged, it further internally frustrated me, not out of jealousy, but rather out of confusion at my own lack of clear direction.

I've had discussion after discussion on where I will live when I move to Florida this upcoming spring. I have contemplated job offers and wondered what life will look like in a year, or five, or ten. I've become terrified, excited, depressed and overjoyed all at the same time.

The truth is that I'm clueless.

I'm scared.

I'm excited.

I'm all of those things because, no, I don't know where I will be in one year, or five or ten. Heck, I don't know where I will be next month. But I am choosing right now to stop dwelling on my past. I'm choosing to stop letting those who hurt me back then hold me back in fear of my future. I'm choosing to let go of the control I have on my life, give the reins to God and just start moving.

Another reminder I received in perfect timing this morning from an amazing blogger, Lauren DeMoss (check out her blog at thefulltimegirl.com if you've never heard of her!):

"Waiting is not always righteous. Sometimes you need to get up, put your fears aside, and go DO something."

If that wasn't anymore applicable to my life right now, I don't know what is. I'm letting pain and fear hold me back from God's full potential with me. I have dreams and plans, but I've been too scared to start trying anything. A wise man (aka my father) once told me that God trying to steer a Christian who is too scared to move is like a ship captain moving a rudder of a ship without turning on the engines. He can turn that rudder to point the ship in ANY direction, but it won't go anywhere without movement, without power behind it.

I've been a ship without engines lately. I've been in such fear of making the wrong choice or going the wrong direction that I haven't gone in any direction. I've been sitting right here saying "God, show me where to go, please." But like that ship, I haven't moved an inch. God is waiting for me to start taking steps in FAITH so he can steer me in the path that I need to go.

What if I start off in the wrong direction? It's ok because God already knows and He's right here beside me every step of the way. He's looking for that tiny bit of faith like a small mustard seed, and He will use it to turn my direction to His path. 

2015 is a new year. It's a new start to walking in faith. It's a good time to start taking those steps and seeking direction from our wonderful, Creator. Don't discount God. Even when you're sitting still, too scared to move, asking for a clear direction in the absence of faith that we generally are, He's smiling because He just sent a notification to your phone. All you have to do is read it and realize that He is in total control.

I serve an incredible Savior.