A beautiful, unworthy, imperfect mess ♡

Today I'm breaking chains and making changes.

Today I'm choosing Jesus over all else.

Today I'm dying to self and living in Christ.

Today is a new day.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I've screwed up. And I know that any number of my readers could be disgusted at the fact that I feel worthy enough to continue blogging to "help" others when I seemingly can't seem to help myself. But one thing I know is that, in Christ, I am made perfect. I am made beautiful.

Is my life worthy of inspiration? Maybe not. But then again, my life is not even worthy of existing in sin. That's the beauty of it all. Christ makes everything beautiful and perfect by His blood. I don't have to try to be inspirational or perfect or worthy. I'm not called to that. I'm called to strive after God wholeheartedly in everything I do. When I strive for a God centered life, all else lines up.

Thankful on this beautiful day for a merciful and loving God.

Just think to yourself where you might be had you never been shown an instant of mercy in your life? Life would be pretty rough...

He is Faithful

I'm short on time and words today, but as a reminder, I wanted to share some verses I've been keeping close to my heart lately.

Psalm 86:15 But you, O Lord are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Thank you God for your mercy and grace. Thank you for not giving me what I deserve. Thank you for being slow to anger. Thank you for being patient with my sinful self. Thank you for standing by me no matter what, in hard times and good times. Thank you for loving me in my broken sinfulness. Thank you for saving me and pulling me from the misery of a life I'd have without you. Thank you for being so faithful to me. Thank you.

Malachi 3:6a For I the Lord do not change;

I cannot express how thankful I am that when all hope seems lost and everything and everyone has failed me, my God does not change. He's still the merciful, gracious, loving, faithful God he was yesterday and the time before. And He will continue to be.

I pray that I keep my eyes on You, and give You the praise You deserve.

Amen.

When Friends Become Enemies

Have you ever had a close friend you thought you could trust, and somewhere along life's messy road, they turned into an enemy?

It's sad but this happens all the time. Often the people we hold closest in our lives become the most distant over time and often turn into enemies. And even though I don't have an answer as to how or why this happens, I have been learning a lot lately about my reaction in these types of situations and how it affects my life and my walk with Christ. What I've learned though, is that a friendship is a mutual agreement to love each other. When you become enemies, again, it is a mutual agreement to dislike each other. The root of being enemies often develops from anger inside that has been ignored and has turned into jealousy, contempt or even hatred. But one thing I know: You can't be enemies with someone you love. We'll pick back up on this idea in a moment.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 says "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools."

People in your life will hurt you. People will use you, reject you, hate you, and forsake you. However, our attitude towards them has nothing to do with how they treat us. Our attitude and actions are within our control. Someone else's attitude and actions are not.  How we behave should never be dependent on how someone else behaves toward us. The Bible clearly shows us that God does not intend for us to walk around with anger in our hearts. He says that "anger lodges in the heart of fools." If that is the case, no matter what someone may do to me or say against me, I don't want to be considered a fool in God's eyes. 

Luke 6:27-36 says "But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from who you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, 

and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful."

Jesus calls us to a higher standard of living. If you read this passage, it almost seems insane to react in the way He is telling us to when people sin against us. However, Jesus isn't asking us to be Christians in a world of sinners and to behave as we are expected. He's telling us to behave as we're NOT expected. He's calling us to a higher standard, set apart from the world. How can unsaved people see a difference in us if we always behave as we're expected?

Our lives are purposed to be different. We're called to portray Jesus as best as humanly possible. What an incredible task! I want to begin today to read and study more about how Christ commands us to act. Even though it may seem different or odd, I want to do my best to live like Jesus so that I can spread his love with as many lost souls as my short lifetime will allow.

Personally, this passage speaks to my life in insurmountable ways right now. I was so convicted reading these words that I had to post a blog about it. I'm not sure how many people can relate, but if anything, it really showed me some things about how I react when others sin against me and some core areas in my life I need to work on and change. I hope it had the same effect for some of you.

Just who is it that I am supposed to be living for anyways?

1 Peter 2:12 ~

People in ministry get scrutinized, most often by the group they are trying to reach. In becoming more involved in camp ministry, this fact is becoming more real in my life.

On one hand, we aren't placed on earth to live up to people's expectations or to be accepted by anyone. On the other hand, we are placed here as servants of Jesus Christ, to reach the lost with the good news of Jesus' death and resurrection. So just how am I to respond when I begin to receive criticism in my life on who I am or how I act?

1 Peter 2:12 says it perfectly. Keep your conduct honorable. As Christians, we aren't perfect. Everyone slips up, everyone sins, even the most "seasoned" Christians. However, if we are daily in the Bible, seeking God's truth, talking to Him everyday and striving to be a better person in Christ and a good example to the lost, it shouldn't be too hard to understand when your actions are honorable or not.

Sometimes it's not about whether the action is right or wrong. Sometimes it is about the context of your actions or the audience of your actions. Sometimes what is perfectly honorable in the comfort of your home, may not be honorable to perform in public. 1 Peter 2:12 shows us that we will receive criticism in doing God's work and that if we keep our actions among the lost honorable, they will see our good deeds, rather than focus on our shortcomings. 

I often struggle with this idea. My flesh wants to act however I please because inside, I know that I am not here to please people, I'm here to please God. However, sometimes pleasing God requires that we have discretion and wisdom regarding our behavior. 

In all honesty, I can say that dishonorable behavior among the lost people you are trying to reach will turn their eyes from the truth you have to share with them. They will lose sight of the gospel and begin to focus on your actions, rather than what is truly important. At this point you become a stumbling block to them, rather than a help, and your words fall on deaf ears.

For the sake of spreading God's Word, I pray I can keep in mind that my actions, especially in the company of lost people, so importantly need to stay pure and honorable . As a missionary, my reputation and the validity of what I have to say, is determined by what people see flowing from my life.